The Bad Boy

t w e n t y

Fear; a four letter word for something so meaningful.

it's what I feel right now.

I'm scared, fearful of to what's to come.

Harry will be gone for who knows how long..

I can't do long distance relationships, it's impossible for me.

I'm scared that Harry will lose contact, I'm scared well never see each other again, I'm scared of what's to come out his singing career.

"What are you going to do?" my mother asks as she looks over to me.

"I don't know, he's leaving in a week, and I have no clue when he'll be back, IF he comes back" I say, putting my head in my hands.

"just hope for the best" she whispers.

"You look tired, I'll come visit tomorrow okay?" I say, visiting hours are almost over anyway.

"alright, bye darling." she whispers and falls asleep almost instantly.

I smile to my self and make my way to the door and look back once more before I leave.

Chemotherapy isn't working that well, just enough to keep her alive and maybe enough to let her fight through it. She's started losing now hair and her pale body getting very frail and weak.

I let a tear drop as I walk out that door, right as Dorothy, my moms nurse was walking in.

"Goodnight Dorothy." I say and walk past her.

"goodnight Sammi" she says and walks into my moms room.

I take a step into the hallway bathroom before I leave.

my hair and make up is a mess, I probably smell really bad, my purple sweater is hanging off my shoulder.

my ripped skinny jeans look.. well they look normal, they are jeans for gods sake.

I put my hair up in a messy bun and rinsed my face.

once satisfied with the way I look, I walked out to the empty hallways of the hospital.

My toms making no sound on the glistening white tiled floors, I made my way to the front entrance, walking out into the cool night.

i turned the corner, walking down the empty street, in the direction of my house, pondering of what could be.

What if Harry doesn't make it, he'll be home in no time, well be together and that's all that matters.

Fuck no that's not happening, he's an amazing singer he's going to make it far.

What if he lets the fame get to his head, what if he can't be with me because he's famous and I'm not. What if he loses all his love for me and loathes me?

I play out all scenarios that could happen in my head, none of them end well, none.

Just as I want to fall to the floor crying I'm standing at my front porch.

I'm going to lose something I've always wanted, something I've worked for, through all the things I've been through, I've witnessed, everything.

I'm going to lose Harry.

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okay well that's the start up to the story.. well the continuing start up..

I'm sorry it's short I just need to get this started.

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-chloe x

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