Somebody That I Used To Know

➸ 15. Ex's and Oh-m-g's

Are you ready to rumble? 

Julien

I'm such an idiot.

Pacing, I ran my hands through my hair with aggravation at myself for being so whipped.. - by a girl I can't even stand anymore.

I really do hate her, that goes without question. I don't know why I always give into her, but I do and it has to stop.

Letting out a frustrated growl, the adrenaline was pumping through me at a steady pace. Everything I did all came back to Jade and I hated it.

I bunched up my fist, slamming it into the wall and plaster crumbled around my feet, my fist punching through the wall, creating a hole.

I needed to get a grip of myself. She was getting the best of me and she wasn't even trying.

Taking deep breaths, I tried to calm myself down as I paced back and forth through my room. The sound of an engine cranking dragged me out of my thoughts and I walked across the hall to the spare bedroom, peering out of the curtains to see Quinn's car backing out of the driveway.

I was beyond irritated with Jade, with myself, and with Quinn.

Of course the first girl I meet that has nothing to do with school is one of Jade's friends. It's fate screwing with me. It's laughing at me, pointing its finger.

Shaking my head, my legs carried me back to my bedroom on their own accord and I was looking out of my window, my brain telling my body what to do without my conscience interfering.

Jade was still sitting on her balcony, only now she wasn't crying. She was smoking on another cigarette with the bottle of whiskey between her bare thighs, the envelope lying untouched in her lap. She was staring out at the street with a clenched jaw. I knew that look. She was pissed.

But so was I.

I finally thought I had found something, or rather someone, to help take my mind off of everything. But no – no, that someone had to be friends with the other someone who used to be my everything. They knew each other.

When I had walked away from the awkward situation on the balcony and slammed the door, I had just wanted to get away from it all because I knew Jade was about to pop. The moment Quinn skipped over to us and Jade's eyes snapped up to mine, throwing all the hurt and anger she could muster at me, I wanted to just run.

The look in her eyes - that was a clear indication that she was going to make sure Quinn went right back to where she came from, so I gave up and went back inside, slamming the door behind me. I didn't like seeing the pain behind her green eyes either. Even if I haven't talked to her in two years and we are both different, even though I hated her, I didn't like hurting anyone. That was something I have had to toughen up on throughout the years and I'm getting better at it.

Jade got what she wanted all the time. Tonight would have been no exception. I didn't want to screw with someone Jade knew anyway. I may have played Eve a little in front of her, but that was just for show. Jade has some problems, and me hooking up with one of her friends wouldn't help it. It would only make it worse. Today was an example of just how much I affected her. I don't know why, but I do.

And to think that I actually thought Quinn might say Fk it and come inside anyways – but nah, I know Jade too well.

I paced around some more, heavy in my thoughts before stopping in front of the vertical mirror hanging on my wall. My eyes darted to the picture stuck in the corner of it – a picture of me when I was sixteen. My face was still somewhat the same, but I wasn't him anymore. The tattooed, muscular man staring back at me had problems that the sixteen year old me could never even fathom.