Pleasure and pain

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Dan and I lay together on my bed. We have been hanging out for a couple hours at my house and so far nothing has happened. That is, until my parents left around a half an hour ago, leaving both Dan and I alone for the next few hours. At the moment we are watching some movie I put on to try to buy me sometime before things get heated since I know that's what's on Dans mind. Based on Dan slowly scooting closer I don't have long.

"Do you think you would ever pet a lion?" I ask Dan to start a conversation. He turns towards the movie on my tv. Me loving Disney and lions have obviously put on the lion king.

"If it didn't attempt to bite off my hand in the process maybe." Dan responds with. I nod my head and not even a second later his eyes are back on me. I can feel him staring at me, his eyes in places that bring an unsettling feeling in my stomach. He inches closer.

"Uhh... I think it would be really cool to own a pet lion. Like a mini non-violent version that I could bring everywhere I go." I try to keep the conversation going to distract Dan. He reaches over for the controller and pauses the movie. I begin playing with my hands to erase the thoughts of what is going through his mind. There is no doubt that he isn't thinking about sex since I invited him over while my parents aren't home. Plus it's Dan Howell, when is sex not on his mind? I try to think about other things to not scare myself, but my mind turns foggy when Dan places his hand on my leg, resting his fingers on my inner thigh. I gasp slightly and press my lips tightly together to avoid a shaky breath. With his other hand he reaches over and places his index finger on my cheek. My heart skips a beat as he slowly turns my head so I am facing him. "Or- or maybe a red panda. Those things are -adorable." I add, my voice becoming high as Dan squeezes my thigh. Our eyes lock for a few seconds. His brown eyes warm and almost inviting. The longer I stare the calmer I feel, as if he is taking away all of the nervousness inside of me.

"You talk too much." He chuckles before his eyes invert down to my lips. A smirk rises on Dan as he uses his finger to pull me closer to him, planting a small and gentle kiss to my lips. My body freezes to his lips against mine. We have kissed before, but this one has more lust in it, more of a feeling that both excites and terrifies me. Dan tilts his head slightly for a better angle and spreads his hand to the back of my head. His touch is so warm and gentle that I can myself melting against him. I ignore my thoughts and push myself more into him, that receiving a smile as my arm swings around his waist. Suddenly Dan's kiss becomes more forceful as his hand grips the locks of my hair. I pull from his force, which he uses that to his advantage to lean into me. His hand inches up my thigh, causing me to shake with both nervousness and pleasure. I continue to pull back until my back is rested down on my pillows. Dan's hand moves from the back of my head down to my chest as he swings his body on top of mine. My eyes widen when thoughts of my ex suddenly come to mind.

"...You are mine. You be a good boy now and do what I say and I'll let you leave without too much pain..."

"...I can do whatever I want to you because without me you are nothing. This is your way of repaying me..."

"...I am your boyfriend. If I want this then I am going to get it and you are going to give it to me. You're easy anyway..."

"...Resisting will only make it hurt more...."

"...That's a good boy..."

"Hey." Dan's voice snaps me out of those thoughts and back to reality. I blink and feel the pain from the dryness before looking up at him. "Are you alright?" He asks. I stare at him. He's not my ex. He wouldn't force me like he did, but he has done this plenty of times. What if he is expecting a lot from me that I am not comfortable with?

"Yeah. I'm fine." I lie. Dan stares at me for a second. His hand that was rested on my thigh suddenly grabs a hold of my crotch, causing my mouth to gasp open. Dan smiles before quickly leaning back down and sticking his tongue into my mouth. A muffled scream chokes inside my throat as Dan begins giving sloppy and wet kisses, tasting inside of me. His hands slides up my shirt, the warmth of it feeling my cold and pale body. My heart beat races having his hand run up and down my stomach and chest. His other hand stays firmly on my crotch that is slowly beginning to rise as he starts rubbing me through my jeans. My back arches to his touch and I pull back for a second to release an unexpected moan. Dan is good, and that's what's scaring me. He has experience, a lot of experience, with both guys and girls. He knows what pleases people and how to get people going with only a simple touch. He's doing that to me right now and my mind is mixed with both fear of him taking it too far and forcing me like my ex, and enjoying having him pay attention to me.

Avoiding the truth || Dan and PhilWhere stories live. Discover now