Elsie-Rae always fancied having Double D's and that's exactly what she got after her boyfriend Ben dumped her, since that night in McDonald's car park her life has been one disaster and dilemma after another.
Now, she must learn to live her...
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I think missing my flight might just be a blessing in disguise — I've got a feeling that today is going to be a good day, a very good day; I just knew it when I read my star sign at breakfast this morning.
'Money is coming your way.' That's what Leroy had written and I could hardly ignore a statement like that could I? And I really needed the money after I'd wasted my savings on a ticket to India, so I called in at the shop and brought a ticket for the EuroMillions lottery on my way to work, gut instinct told me that it was a winner.
I was on top of the world today, and nothing could bring me down.
"I've got a date tonight," Mrs James said, reminding me why she'd come in for a mid-week blow dry rather than her usual Saturday morning one that had been routine for the last six years.
She was well into her eighties and could still get a date, so I suppose at twenty-one there was still hope for me.
"We're off to the bingo, me and George," she said with a smile. It was heart-warming and infectious.
"I hope you've got your best knickers on Betty?" Aaron cackled from around the corner.
"Ooh, he's a swine, how do you put up with him?" she whispered, before answering Aaron. "Of course I have my darling, why do you think I've come in for the mid-week blowy? Got to keep looking my best."
Maybe that was my problem. Maybe that was the reason Ben didn't fancy me anymore. After six years together picking out matching underwear had long gone out of the window. I didn't have to worry about shaving my legs to have sex, nothing was off limits, well except for farting. You have to draw the line somewhere! And I would rather be doubled over with stomach cramps than risk letting one slip. I've lost count of the number of times I'd race across the landing to the bathroom so that I could flush the toilet and let one rip in secret.
"Not back with that arsehole are you?" She asked.
"No, I wouldn't get back with him, not even if he begged me," I lied. Of course, I would get back with Ben if he asked me, he wouldn't even have to resort to begging, but I'm not likely to tell anyone that am I?
"Good. He was no good for you. You'll be better off without him, six years and no engagement ring; you don't want an arsehole like that. Life's too short to waste in on someone like him. You'll get over him," she said.
That was all anyone said: "Oh, you'll be alright. You'll get over him. It'll be okay." But then they would say that, wouldn't they? It was easy for them to dish out the advice; they didn't know that Ben had dumped me for another girl.
And I know that I've read that a problem shared is a problem halved, but no, there's no way I'm telling people that I still love Ben, that he finished with me and has found someone else already. Do you know how inadequate that makes you feel? She works at the same place as him, it doesn't exactly take a genius to work out that he knew her while he was with me, I can't help but torture myself with thoughts of the two of them together. She's a trainee accountant and really pretty as well; she has long black hair and a perfect smile. God, I sound like I've been stalking her, well, I've looked at her Facebook profile a few times, but that's beside the point.
"Forget him, love," Betty said, as she paid up her bill. "Here, take this," she said shoving a ten-pound note in my hand, "get yourself a bottle of wine or two, that'll help you forget the bastard."
See, the stars had been right, money had come my way and more was coming.
She was right, Ben was a bastard, and I did need to forget him; that was hardly like to happen though, I had to pass his house every day on the way to work. Sometimes I see him in the morning, looking all smart in his suit and tie, he didn't see me though, I'd always hide behind the bush until he was gone.
Anyway, once my lotto numbers came up tonight, I wouldn't even need to think about Ben or see him anymore, I'd win the jackpot, hand in my notice and leave for real this time.
