Elsie-Rae's got Double D's

a christmas miracle

"Elsie, come with me quick," my mum shouted while bursting into my room, where I busy packing more stuff into a box to take to a charity shop - it was my new obsession.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Sam; something happened to him. He called asking me to go pick him up and take him to A&E, we need to go and get him, quick!"

I imagined Sam had gotten involved in an argument with the wrong person, they'd given him a slap, and I couldn't say that I'd blame them. We'd had our fair share of fights when we were younger, he hit me, and I hit him, and then I'd always get into trouble for it. Whatever it was that happened to the golden boy, I'm pretty sure it wasn't life-threatening and we didn't need to be in as much of a panic as my mum was.

Sam was stood outside Enigma talking to Kyle the head doorman when we picked him up. He had ice wrapped in a tea towel around his hand; my mum honked the horn to alert him to our presence. Using his hand that wasn't wrapped in ice, Sam shook Kyle's hand, whatever it was that had happened there was obviously no hard feelings or bad blood between Sam and the door staff at the club.

"What happened?" my mum asked.

"I tripped over, it's nothing," Sam said dismissively.

We sat for hours in the waiting room for Sam to get an X-ray on his hand to see what damage he'd done.

"What really happened?" I asked him when my mum had left us to go out for coffee and a cigarette - a habit that I thought she'd long given up.

"It's for my nerves," was her excuse, "I only have one now and again."

"C'mon I know you didn't fall, did you get involved in a fight? Who was it with?"

"I told you, didn't I Elsie? I warned you to be careful; I told you blokes are wankers!"

Sam was such a drama queen. "What happened?"

"It was Ben. He was in the club, acting all smug and chatting up these girls, and then he was stood near me at the bar. Honestly, he was all like, 'alright mate,' as if we're friends; he held his hand out for me to shake, I almost did, and he started laughing, and he said the most disgusting things about you, Elsie."

"What did he say?"

"It doesn't matter, it was just something a brother doesn't want to hear about his sister, so I punched him; he deserved it. And no one gets to call you names except for me, I know that you're a psychopath, I grew up with you," he said with a smile.

I wanted to know what it was that Ben had said about me, but no matter how many times I asked him Sam wouldn't tell me.

"It doesn't matter; I don't want to repeat it," was all he'd say. "Just forget him, Elsie, I might not be there to have your back next time."

"Thanks, Sam," I said resting my head on his shoulder. "You're a bit of a knob most of the time, and an arsehole, but I guess you're an okay brother."

"Yeah, I suppose you're alright too, even if you are a bellend" he smiled at me again.

Sam had broken a bone in his hand; the doctor didn't seem convinced by Sam's story. My mum didn't question him at all, but then she wouldn't have done, he'd always gotten away with everything.

"Do you think he'll press charges?" I asked Sam as we sat together waiting for Sam to get his hand plastered.

"I dunno, Kyle said he'll sort it. He deserved it anyway. You really know how to pick them, don't you Els."

I couldn't believe that Dylan had told Sam about that, it was a genuine mistake, I was so embarrassed.

"Honestly, I never thought that day would come when I'd say the best bloke you picked out of all of them was that fucking-Dean-idiot. Maybe just like, stay single for a bit, I don't fancy another trip to A&E."

This was the first time in forever that Sam and I had gotten along with each other; we usually spent most of our time arguing and fighting, but actually, I much preferred it this way.

Maybe things were taking a turn - things were looking up, and I couldn't be happier.

"Oh, it's a Christmas miracle," my mum said rather loudly when she walked back in from smoking another cigarette. "My children, look at them, they can get along with each other," she then proceeded to take her phone out of her bag and take a photo, which was quite embarrassing, especially when the hot doctor walked passed.

Happy bloody Christmas to me.

I didn't want anything for Christmas this year, except for maybe to be happy, well, and a new pair of tits, but I think they kind of go hand-in-hand.

My mum handed me over an envelope looking all smug, it was pretty obvious it was a gift voucher of some sort - worst present ever, at least with money you can spend it anywhere, a bloody gift voucher restricts to you certain shops.

And then I opened it and I could see why she was smug, the parents had come up trumps. It was a handmade gift voucher for the tits of my dreams.

Dad kept making jokes about how Sam had broken his wanking hand.

We all got really drunk, mum burnt the carrots, again.

Best Christmas Ever!

I hadn't planned on going out for New Year, I mean, yeah I couldn't wait to see the back of this year, but also I've been avoiding going out since that night with Ben because I don't want to risk bumping into him. And this time it's not because I think I might cry but because I might just end up punching him in the mouth as well.

But Aaron has insisted, he text me earlier to tell me that he's got me a ticket for Enigma's New Year Big Bash - I wish he hadn't, I begrudge paying the fiver to get in on a normal weekend, but he said it was his treat, so I could hardly say no to him.