bored af // spam book 2.0

helloooo

ive been sick for legit 3-4 weeks and i'm not liking iT

also for easter i'm going to look so cute because i'm borrowing bf's wedges i've been calling them heels but they're called wedges and no one corrected me except one friend and my step mom uhm hello

i'm wearing this cool silk dress w/o straps
which is scary
and a strapless bra
which is also scary
because hi my boobs are large

it's not even my weight anymore- my boobs are the reason why i can't wear crop tops

update on me eating it hasn't been happening LOL my bad

update on me in general i want boba

maybe i'll put up a picture of me in my easter outfit all dolled up because YEET imma look so fine

my throat hurts

and iM GOIna lOOK SO FUckiNg gOod for EasTer

if you have a streak with me on snapchat then you'll know what i'll look like because imma just spam u with me getting ready and whatever the day looks like IM EXCITED

my cousin and i are both gay not for each other ya nasty and we're both kind of open the same about it

but both of our families don't know about it and i just love talking about our issues together because both of our crushes are our best friends and are straight (to our knowledge)

so when i see her on Easter we're goina take some gay squad goal pictures and i'm ecstatic

update on coming out to best friend i'm scared cuz she probably 85% already knows i'm gay because i don't hide it very well

like, i talk about girls in front of her

not to her or with her- i talk about girls to other people while in front of her

so. she probably already knows.

WHICH IS GOOD because when i come out to her she'll know i'm being serious and she'll just "i can tell, you don't hide it v well" and i just
that's okay

my friends' opinion on coming out to her is that i should do it in person if i want an intimate kinda thing

like at her house or something

because if i cry which i will she will know that i'm very serious about this

if i tell her how long i've been pushing the smallest gay thought away (about 4 years now) she'll know that i'm not just saying i'm gay because of one experience or whatever

like. i'm not lying. i'm not looking for attention. i'm not going through a phase.

if it was a phase i wouldn't be taking so long to just get to the fucking point, you know?

everyone told me to just tell her when i'm ready but how will i know when i'm ready?

"you'll know when you know" stfu i hate that saying
and the thing is
that saying is so fucking true, i still hate it

other friends have recently came out to bf and i but we think she's just doing it because everyone is but i don't have the right to say that

bf believes that i can't know i'm gay unless i've kissed a girl

bitch how would i know i'm straight if i haven't kissed a guy

if i come out to her and she says some stupid shit you know i'm abouta fucking beat her for not watching her mouth that asshole

yea idk when/how i can come out to her bye