bored af // spam book 2.0

psa

i'm gay :(

but last night my friends made me feel a whoooolle lot better because they told me they relate and one person sent me two large paragraphs telling me to just deal and push through it.

i was sobbing last night and i wasn't feeling well

but i'm good now, i think. better than last night. i really needed to explode but last night was just a little leak.

i'll end up needing another let out another time. i just broke down for a second

more info on that i wrote in my streaks that i wasn't feeling well and how much i was crying and felt depressed at the moment and i got majority replies as "wanna talk about it" and i told all of them "being gay is hard". for the people who asked why i told them "i can't get around to accepting myself. ik it sounds cheesy" and a lot of them replied reassuringly

of course the ones who replied know i'm gay and are also gay themselves and they told me it's normal to go through little episodes like this

so i think i'm good now

best friend was at a dodger game and i didn't want to bother her but i accidentally sent her the streak post of how terrible i am and i sent her a sorry and it being an accident and she said it was okay and she wishes she could make me feel better

that was nice but after that i got the paragraphs telling me i was going to be okay

i kept falling in and out of crying, the tears have never escaped my eyes so quickly, it was weird

i really needed a big sob but i had to be quite, as i wasn't home alone and it was nighttime

anyways i'm gucci now. just a lil emotional and touchy but i'm not as crazy as i was last night
:)