Clouds ☁ Ereri

Chapter 7 ~ Insomnia and Restraint

'Levi, are you asleep yet?' Eren sighed, fiddling with the black-haired boy's hair. He gained silence in response only exasperating him more. It seemed that he would be the only one awake tonight. His mind was too busy to fall into unconsciousness and the looming fear of tomorrow was causing his stomach to flip nauseatingly.

'I want you to wake up and remember me, is that too much to ask?' He whispered, the darkness swallowing his words. Eren knew his efforts were futile- nothing could change the inevitable and one day or another, Levi would wake up and his brain would once again be a cloud.

It was a nice description for it, really, Eren realised. Cloud. That's what it looked like to him. It was as if Levi were lost in the clouds- away with the fairies as many would say. His eyes were clouded over, his mind was as useless as the fluffs of white in the sky. To most, anyway, what the rest saw was just how important they were. Even in his state, Levi was crucial- he was humanity's strongest and a simple illness could not deter him from that path.

Eren found himself, over the next hour, unable to force his mind from the man who lay next to him. He was all too consuming. Even without the illness pushing them together, spending time before his futile attempts at consciousness failed him, Eren had found himself wrapped up in the topic that was Levi himself. No more and no less.

'You're going to get better, I know you will.' He stated, to himself alone. He wanted to believe it so badly yet as his voice cracked and his body trembled, he knew his hopes were falsely placed. Levi wasn't going to get better. And, maybe, if he was lucky, Eren wouldn't see him deteriorate but he knew death was inevitable. It always had been forced upon on them since they became soldiers. There was no escaping an early death and maybe that could let Levi die with honour...rather than dying from a bloody illness.

He knew Levi hated it, even more so than Eren. Levi held high status and was a proud man. Although he was rather reserved, his pride always shone through. It was what set fear into the other soldiers. It had what sent him from the bottom of the ranks to the top- his strength participating too.

Levi knew he was good at what he did and he held that in high regard. He wasn't egotistical, far from it, but he enjoyed knowing that he was able- even if he didn't have to. Now, with this illness, he had been stripped of that. He would be stripped of his pride, his abilities, his status, his rank. Everything he cherished would be gone.

Except for Eren. Eren would always be there for him, no matter what. Eren was determined, head-strong and a bit of a nutcase when the worst situations occurred but that's what Levi loved about Eren and Eren knew that- he had been told enough times.

Eren slipped out of bed, peering out of the open window, the curtains fluttering in the wind, to see that it was far past midnight. He gave up on the thought of sleep altogether and reminded himself to be glad that Levi had stayed in his slumber despite his common insomnia.

He yawned quietly and cracked his aching bones before trudging out of the door, being careful to shut the door quietly behind him. He wouldn't want to wake Levi now. He then continued to slip through the corridors, going undetected by most and finding Hanji- still awake- peering down an obscurely built microscope.

'Eren!' She shouted, clearly waking up a few neighbours from the exasperated sighs coming from the surrounding walls.

'Hi, Hanji.' He whispered, smiling sadly, trying to feign a happiness that clearly wasn't there. Hanji returned with a sleepy grin; she understood perfectly, she was up because of Levi after all.

'What did you come down for.' Her voice was still cheery, it was more often than not that it was but was a lot quieter than before and it was clear that it was taken gladly by the neighbours.

'I wanted to ask a few questions...about Levi.' Hanji nodded solemnly and motioned for him to sit on the stool and she threw herself gracefully around the desk before leaving her head on her hands, watching him intently. The stare put Eren on edge but he knew this was just Hanji going about her usual routine. Suddenly, her gaze was brought down. She stared at the floor as intently as she had looked at him.

'I'm afraid to say that I've learnt next to nothing.' She sighed, rubbing her temples gently. 'This is all too complex. I need machinery that we don't have. I need advances in medicine. I need to time travel to find anything. We're in a time where I have nothing to help us. We have come some way since being within the walls, fighting disease has become crucial, but that doesn't mean we can't advance more...and we need to. What Levi has can't just be looked at through a microscope or be solved by experimental treatments. I'm at a loss for what to do.' Eren's eyebrows furrowed as he watched Hanji clenching her fists. It was as if she was ready to punch a hole through the desk. Maybe she was.

Eren breathed in. Then, breathed out. Slowly, slower, calmer. He forced himself to calm his racing heart and withhold the tears that were threatening to spill. He had just gained the worst news of his life and he couldn't find it within himself to let his emotions loose.

Levi was incurable.

He was stuck like this forever. Eren was stuck with this forever. Hanji was stuck curing this forever. They were all trapped now. Without a cure, they would simply have to put up with Levi's episodes. No, not put up. They would help. They wouldn't get fed up.

This was Levi...they would never turn their backs on Levi.

Eren sighed and stood up, his legs shaky, as was his body. 'Thank you, Hanji.' He muttered insincerely before rushing out of the room; he had to see Levi. He had to see him before he lost it again. Eren had to ground himself...and Levi was the only way to do so.

word count: 1056

published: 18.04.17