Chapter 4: Lectures and Depression...

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After a couple of hours, we sang for about a decent hour until Jakei came into Cross' room.

"Cross, don't you have homework to be doing??" Jakei asked.

"Oh, SHI-OOT! I totally forgot." Cross groaned.

"I have a little bit of homework too." I sighed.

"I would recommend getting to it." Jakei requested, leaving the room.

I grabbed my black backpack from the foot of Cross' bed, unzipped it, and grabbed the history homework that I had to do. I was glad that it wasn't that much homework.

"I hate Mr. Asgore..." Cross sighed.

"He isn't that bad, it just depends on your work ethic." I reached into my bag and pulled out a dark blue mechanical pencil, getting to work immediately.

"I don't get why he has to give us homework every single day, though."

"Cross, you just have to get on his good side."

"Teacher's pet." He laughed.

"I'm not a teacher's pet, I can lie to him and he'll believe it. That's all there is too it." I bit down on the eraser end of the pencil.

I eventually finished the homework, Cross was still struggling on the final five questions however.

"Do you need help?" I asked.

"It wouldn't hurt."

I glanced at the questions.

"Three, it's a trick question."

"Oh, thanks." Cross replied.

*Jakei's POV* (This will be one of the few POV switches.)

I was watching from the corner, shipping those two. They seem like a cute pairing.

"Oh, thanks." My son said.

I smiled, they seem like they were made for each other. I laughed when Nightmare gave Cross the longest lecture about the importance of American independence.

*Nightmare's POV*

I think that halfway through the lecture Cross fell asleep, I would if I had to listen to this for about half an hour.

"Hey, Cross. Wake up." I shook him lightly so he wouldn't hate me for waking him.

To my surprise, he didn't wake up. I sighed, I moved him so that he was covered with his blanket. I then grabbed my phone and texted my mom.

Hey, can you pick me up?

I waited a while for a reply.

Sure Nightmare. I'll be there in a few.

I read their reply quickly, I grabbed my bag and turned off the lights. I left the house as soon as I saw Joku pull up through the window.

"Bye." I sighed, closing the door.

I opened the front passenger door on Joku's blue car. I buckled the seat belt and then crossed my arms. I never would show my family me acting weak and emotional, I am never going to be the way I was back then; Ignorant and Merciful.

"Did you have a good time?" My mom asked, pulling out of the driveway.

"It was okay I guess." This was an obvious understatement.

"That's good."

When we got home I went straight to my room, not bothering to eat dinner again. I collapsed on my bed.

"God fucking damn it..." I covered my face with my hands. 

I was thinking about what was going on at school and my tumblr. I was always forced to choose between my happiness and my responsibilities and my tumblr. I was constantly stressed out, I was thinking about going on a hiatus for tumblr and trying to focus more on my social life than the internet.

Why do I always worry when I'm not around my family and Cross?? I don't know anymore, I think I am starting to go insane. I keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting change... I am so tired...

"Nightmare, can I come in??" Dream asked.

"Ugh, sure." I replied.

Dream entered after I said that, I sat up.

"Why are you in here?"

"I'm worried for you, Nightmare." I was shocked. "You've been secretive and distant lately, and I'm concerned because you haven't been eating."

"I just haven't been hungry lately." I lied.

"Stop lying, please. I know you're not okay. If you ever want to talk you can just tell me, I won't judge you for anything you tell me."

"I really am fine, I just am tired."

"If you say so, just promise me... You won't do THAT again..." I tensed up, I hate it when people bring up my past cutting.

"I won't." I had my hands in my pockets, hiding my crossed fingers. They obviously didn't notice that I was planning on double crossing them.

They left my room and I shut the door behind them, I locked the door and face planted into the black sheets.

I reached under my pillow and grabbed the razor I hid underneath it, I glanced at the cold steel blade. I'll only cut once, no more than that. I pressed the cold blade against my wrist, I cut deep and quick. I whispered.

"Ow..." I saw that blood was coming out fast, I hid the razor and ran to the bathroom in order to avoid passing out due to blood loss.

I pulled out some gauze bandages, and I wrapped it around the injury. I was glad that I wouldn't have to deal with Dream being a big baby over what's my problem, not his. I went to my room and passed out on my bed.

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