Pain, Love & Anguish

Who Really Is Here Anymore?

Leo. You ready?

Juan. Yeah Let's go

Nico. Go where?

I interrupted there conversation.

Juan. Well Lisa said we've had a complaint from the syndicate we work with in the east side so we were going to go "take care of the problem"

Juan is the new guy who replaced Antony when he died. He is no where as skilled as Anthony was but we were short staffed when Mylon was attacking us so we hired him.

Leo. Something wrong boss?

Nico. I'm coming with

They realized the gun in my shaking hand.

Leo. But you don't usually go on the hitman runs?

I know he could see the distress in my face. It was in my body language. He knew it wouldn't be a good idea to let me go but I didn't wanna listen. I had to go. I had to kill someone. I know it sounds bad but I have to do this. It is my sense of relief and Amora, she was changing that, she was my sense of relief but that's over now. She's gone.

I'm going to have to revert back to my old ways. My gun and my late night calls. It would be as if she never existed but this heart ache would never go away no matter how many people I killed.

Nico. Well I'm going today and I know that you aren't questioning my authority I would sure hope that you weren't.

Leo. No boss of course not.

Nico. Great let's go

The call had been from a syndicate that we worked with. The Royal syndicate which was actually really cheesy to me but they helped us when Mylon went rogue so I guess you can say we owe them a favor.

This gang I guess has been "bothering them". One of There syndicate members was found dead on the street. Bullet to the head and the Royal Syndicate thinks that the gang is responsible so here we go.

As we climbed into the car I went to the truck to grab my favorite gun. My AK-47. This was going to be fun. Yeah. It will be fun to get my mind off of everything, I hadn't killed anyone in a long time other than Mylon of course.

In the car I kept my gun in my lap and starred out the window while Leo and Juan sat in the front seat. Before a kill the car was usually quiet but Anthony would be the weird one to turn on the radio to drown out the silence and ease the tension I'm sure. But Anthony isn't here. Who really is anymore?

We parked around the corner of this little neighborhood. The gang looked like they lived in a run down old church. A bunch of hood  rats.

Leo. Ready boss?

He said before getting out of the car.

Nico. Always ready

We all got out and surrounded the sides of the church. We were going to go in but one of them came out.

Juan. Wait!
He whispered but I wasn't listening.

I aimed my gun and shot him in the head. Then retook my place on the side of the building behind the wall.

Juan. What the fuck!?
He whisper yelled.

But I ignored him. Then a whole swarm of them came out of the church guns up and some stupid ones shooting in the air.

Juan. Look at that now we are out numbered.

Leo. Boss? Any ideas?

Nico. Let's take them out.

I came from around the corner and just started shooting leaving Juan and Leo no choice but to follow my lead. We Just started shooting no going back now I saw one getting ready to stab Leo in his head before I blew his brains out. I could definitely get used to this again just me and my gun.

But then something bad happened.

A woman. It was a woman who ran out of the church. She wasn't armed. She was holding a baby and I shot her. I fucking shot her. She fell to the ground but the baby was crying. Everyone else was dead. Everyone but Me, Leo, Juan and that baby.

Leo. Oh shit!

He ran to the woman trying to get her heart beating again while Juan took the baby. He wouldn't stop crying but lucky the bullet had missed him Because of the way she was holding him.

Then the flashbacks came rolling in.

Amora. I'm Pregnant Nico

Nico. I'm going to be a dad

I couldn't look I couldn't look at him holding the baby.

Nico. I didn't mean it

Juan. That bitch came out of no where

Nico. What did you call her?

Juan. That bitch.

I rolled my eyes at him.

Nico. Juan give Leo the baby

He handed Leo the baby and I shot him. Yeah I shot Juan the new kid that worked for us.

Leo. Nico?

Nico. I hate guys who disrespect woman.

Leo. Um... well if you take the baby I can grab the guns and we can figure out what to do with him.

Nico. Keep the baby I'll grab the guns

Leo. It's really no problem

Nico. I don't want that baby!

I left him standing there with the kid. I grabbed the guns and threw them in the trunk to add it to the inventory.

We got into the car and I drove letting Leo keep he kid. We stopped by Royalty Syndicate.

The guards were on patrol in front of the gate.

Guard. Who are you?

Nico. I'm Nico from the Vitale Syndicate tell whoever is in charge I have a message for him that his little issue has been resolved.

Guard. And why should I do that? You don't look like someone from a syndicate. What are you two gay fathers?

Leo could see me reach for my gun but he grabbed my arm.

Leo. Just tell Kian to call us. Nico let's go

We started to turn from the gate.

Leo. Please tell me you weren't really going to kill him?

Nico. I hate disrespectful...

Leo. People. Yeah I know you said the same thing after you killed Juan... one of our own. Nico I don't think it's a Good Idea you are back at work so soon after...

Nico. After what Leo? I already have Lorenzo on my ass thinking he needs to stay with me 24/7.

Leo. You are going through something that people would take weeks to recover from, it's okay that you step down for a while

Nico. I don't need to step down from anything ! I'm fine

Leo. Right

He said patting the crying little boy back to sleep. Atleast when he grew up he wouldn't remember the feeling of loss. The feeling of the hole burning in his chest he wouldn't know what if felt like to have something and then lose it, or Atleast he wouldn't remember the feeling anyway. But I will, I'll always remember it. It will never go away.

The feeling of emptiness, the feeling of loneliness. I'm sorry.