Random Spam// Ella

Rant And Pictures

(before we start i would just like to point out that my wife is v v hot and beautiful thank you.)

Hey your homegirl's back with a rant and some pictures.

Yo so these are just some pictures of myselfff so you can get comfortable before i go on a lil rant: (btw most of these are from Snapchat)

I'm probably going to regret putting this in later but whatever I've shared enough crap with the internet

in case youre new here, hey. I'm ella I'm 14.im gay.I'm constantly depressed. I have gucci frens i guess. Im obsessed with things i should probably get over. Don't ask why I'm covered in chalk in the last picture.ask my friends syd and philip. Ha

So guesssssss who is having an existential crisis??? This gurl.

Lately I've been having to think about college and life after high school which is extremely terrifying.

I have no idea what i want to do.

And also im not sure if my family will let me do it.

You see, i hate my parents. I hate my step father (though, my mom hates him too smh) and i hate my mom (to some extent. She's okay sometimes.)

And for that reason, i want to be able to do what i want with my life without being controlled by either of them.

The problem is that my mom wants me to live with her while I'm going to college.

She also wants me to live with her when I'm done with college (I'm being serious... it might be a Russian family thing; and i understand her P O V because her parents are both dead but that's another story).i can't do that for. Reasons.

Though, if you read an earlier chapter titled "monophobia" you will also know that i can't live on my own without panicking and probably going insane....... Idk how that will work

So. After high school ends, i will legally be allowed to move out.

What about my monophobia?

where will i go???

What will i do?

Will i get a scholarship?

Will i even go to college?

What about my little sister (who will be eight at the time)?

I mean, there are things i like to do.

I like to write.

I'm very musically enclined (guitar, piano, singing) and ig I'm decent cause i perform at cafés and crap although i would never tell my friends as i would probably have a mental breakdown playing in front of them (idk why)

I love acting

I love camerawork and filmmaking.

But, you see, all of these things are very hard to find a career in.

I don't know where to start.

I'm just very scared for the future and what it will hold.

Sometimes i wish i was a person who had it all together so that i could decide on a decent job with decent money.

Anyway, sorry for that. Whatever it was.

I'll see ya...later.

Nutty Rutgers

Wtf i typed in "bbyyyyyeeeee" and it autocorrected to nutty Rutgers

I'm very confused.

Wait lemme try that with other things

Hester loop (hellllooo)

Yay titty (wtf i was trying to type in yayyyy)

Whites saggy (queeesssstt)

Noooo inn's (mmiiinne)

Sodas supporters (doddddiiieeee)

Has ass (haaaa)

Okay I'm done now

Lmao