Sanders Sides OneShots

Feelings (Analogical)

I AM A HUGE ANALOGICAL SHIPPER AND I DON'T FEEL ASHAMED IT IS PURE AND GOOD AND PERFECT AND YOU CAN'T TELL ME OTHERWISE!! Okay but seriously, I prefer writing Analogical over Prinxiety I'm not gonna lie. I kinda ship it more than Prinxiety If I'm being 100% honest. sorrynotsorry

Trigger Warnings: Fluff (cuz, c'mon, let's be real, I'm that bad at it that it should probably be considered a warning lol), Swearing, Some very light, not really described all that much, vague implied nsfw content. Feedback is always appreciated ^_^

Feelings are difficult for me to understand.

They are unpredictable, sometimes coming with no warning, no reason, no explanation.

I never really liked feelings.

Sometimes I wonder if there maybe was a time where I didn't care for -maybe even enjoyed- feelings.

Those days are long gone now, though, I find it difficult to feel anything, really. And whenever I do feel, I hate it.

But then I saw you.

And all of a sudden, I was hit full force by something that felt so foreign at the time.

I thought it was dislike, and at first it was, but then I saw you laugh for the first time.

I saw the way you're lips pulled back, smile so big and happy. I saw the way your eyes shone, crinkling at the edges. I heard you as you laughed, a wonderful, carefree sound. It was loud and obnoxious and just so fucking beautiful.

And when I suddenly couldn't look away, when my voice refused to work, when my ears tuned into only that sound and blocked everything else out, I realised that I didn't dislike you.

I loved you.

And I still do.

I see your eyes, usually a shade of dark chocolate but turning to pools of a fiery amber in the light of the sun and no matter what I do I can never look away. I can never stop imagining how beautiful they would look half lidded and dazed in the midst of steamy air and breathy "I love you"s.

I see your skin, so soft and flawless. So pale from both the little sunlight you allow it to see and the white foundation you wear. I often find myself wondering how it would feel under my hands as they rest on your hips, sweat slicking every inch of your body.

I see your hair, brown and messy and swiped to one side. I think of how it would feel to have my hands running through it, grasping, pulling, using it to expose the flesh of your neck to me in moments that are too intimate for anybody but us to witness.

I see your smile, big and happy at times, small and shy at others. I see how your lips pull back, revealing your teeth. I wonder how it would feel to capture those lips in a kiss, hot and desperate, teeth clashing, biting each other's lips, trying hard to show our passion for each other. I imagine what would be like to take those lips in another kiss, this one slow and sweet and gentle, showing nothing but care and a gentle admiration, our lips moving in sync with each other, shyly trying to convey our love for each other in the sweetest way possible. I wonder if they would be as soft and sweet as I fantasised them to be.

And now as you look at me with your beautiful eyes, as you smile at me that beautiful smile and lean closer to me, -so close I can count the freckles that faintly show beneath your foundation- you capture my lips in one of those soft, sweet, perfect kisses that I had spent so long fantasising about, not knowing you had been doing the exact same.

And I welcome the butterflies. I welcome the feeling of my heart speeding up. I welcome the love I feel. I welcome you.

Maybe feelings aren't as bad as I thought.