CHAPTER III: Our First Kiss

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I have this urge to reach out to you...

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Year 2003.

My sophomore year is very different from boring freshmen year! Fate is in my favor! Milena is one of the students from their class that got high grades like me so we're in the same section this year. I'm so pumped up to be classmates with my girl! My stalking will be easy now that she's within arm reach from me! And I wished that she could clearly see me now. Just one glance from her will make my heart happy.

Everyday I gave her flowers, chocolates, gifts like keychains or small stuffed toys, and wrote some simple love letters to her anonymously. It's like I'm courting her without her knowing that I'm her suitor. And I'm not sure why I'm doing this! It's so unlike me! When I had a boy crush before, I'm not smitten over him like this!

I'm somewhat disappointed because she never talked to me even if we're groupmates! She's friendly with my other classmates, even to stray cats from other rooms! But not to me! Why?! She's hurting my feelings, but I don't want to give up!

Today, I wrote my mobile number again on a piece of paper and asked her to text me, so I could save her number too. This time, I decided to put my name on it. I left it at her desk during our lunch break. I waited for her to return to our room and when I saw her picked up my note, I was too anxious on what she'll do next. She read it and bit her lower lip then looked up at my direction. I couldn't figure out the emotions on her eyes that were hidden under her eyeglasses. She put my note inside her pocket, looked away from me and get back on writing notes. What the hell? My beauty was ignored!

Months passed by and we still rarely interacted with each other. It's difficult to get her attention because we don't have mutual friends. And every time I'm approaching her, she'll talk to her friends and keep herself busy. I wanted to invite her to lunch but she joined her friends. My heart clenched in pain when she hugged Frincez like she didn't see her for centuries! I glared at their backs and when she turned her head, our eyes met. She saw me staring at them! I'm so embarrassed! I ran outside the canteen, uncontrollable tears falling in my eyes. I ran and ran, not knowing where my feet lead me to. I stopped under a mango tree. I sat and cried my heart out.

Why am crying like this? The last time I cried was when my parents got busy at their work and forget about me and my siblings. And this pain is like when my father promised me that he'll be back home soon, but he never did. I felt abandoned and betrayed. My heart is in so much pain!

I was startled when someone stood beside me. My world stopped when I recognized it was Milena. She offered me her handkerchief, but I ignored her and wipe off my tears with my hands. I felt butterflies in my stomach when she knelt in front of me and used her handkerchief to help me wipe my tears.

"Hey Azil, why are you crying?", she asked with her sweet gentle voice.

Honestly, I don't know why I started crying. Maybe because I'm thinking that she and Frincez are more than friends. I held her hands and said, "I didn't know that you were already unavailable. If I have known it, I stopped giving you letters and gifts, and didn't have to expect my feelings to be reciprocated. Is she the reason why you're ignoring me? I always do things to make you notice me but it's not working!"

Milena laughed, and I pouted. She pinched the tip of my nose and said, "You wanna know a secret?"

A secret from her?! Oh, yes, of course I want to know that! I nodded my head at her excitedly.

She smiled and said, "Azil, I never once ignored the sweet things you did. Although I didn't know who's the mystery person behind it, I still treasured them. But when I knew it's you, I still can't approach you. I'm so shy, not brave enough to talk to you like what a friend should do. And you know, every time you're near me, my heart thumps so loud and my body temperature goes below sub zero. I'm too nervous to think of what I'll do next.

"By the way, I don't even know why you're crying here. Is it because of ---"

When I realized that she liked me too, I didn't let her to explain more. I pulled her close to me and I kissed her. And that's our first kiss! It was magical! Her lips are soft and so sweet. When she realized that she's already on top of me, she gently pulled away. She got nervous and asked me why I kissed her suddenly. I said that I liked her more than a friend.

"Azil, I know you've noticed many of my boyish nuances, but I'm not sure what I feel for you. This is the first time I feel something special, especially for a girl. I have girl crushes and they're like my sisters to me. But I don't feel like you're one of them."

"Well, this is my first time to like a girl this much, too. And I'm sure I like you to be my girlfriend, Milena. Will you accept me as your girlfriend?"

"Your what?!", she looked at me and asked in astonishment.

I held her hand and stare at her eyes to show her how serious I am, "Be my girlfriend. Pretty pretty please?"

Her mouth opened and closed, not sure on what to say. I gave her my best puppy eyes look.

She sighed in defeat, "S-sure."

Gosh! She agreed to be my girlfriend! I felt like I'm the luckiest person in the whole wide world! I raised my fists up in the air and jumped and danced like a lunatic. I saw her biting her lip, preventing a smile. I smiled at her and kissed her again.

We left school as soon as our class ended. She walked me into our house before she walked home. I'm lying in my bed, but I can't sleep. The magical scene under that mango tree kept replaying in my mind! I feel so giddy and ticklish inside! I can't wait to see her tomorrow! I still cannot believe that we're girlfriends now and that I had the courage to kiss her! In her arms, I felt safe and loved.

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