Take Your Shot ( Norminah )

Eight

" Put your name number and address right here then sign and date right here "

It's been almost couple of years since I've came to visit my father.

He wasn't there when I and kehlani needed him the most all because of his life choices.

I felt like he was the cause of everything, He got busted on drug trafficking charges. Im not going to sit here and say We didn't benefit from what he did because we did. Even when he got locked up.

He had set up bank accounts for me and my sister but our druggie of a mother cleaned those out faster then then lines she loved oh so much.

But that still doesn't replace the love and comfort that we needed from him.

" Can I see your ID ma'am? "

One of the guards said to me before allowing me to walk through the doors to the visitation room.

When I got back there I just sat at the table with my head down. I heard the door open and shackles hitting against each other but I still didn't look up.

I knew it was him though I could feel his energy as soon as he stepped foot into the room. I heard the chair being brought out from under the table I still didn't look up as we sat there in silence for a couple of minutes

" To say I'm surprise to see you here is a understatement "

I still didn't look up which I knew was getting to him cause to him you was disrespecting him if you didn't give him full eye contact.

" look at me while I'm talking to you, what have I told you from the beginning you cant look for someone to respect you if you sitting around with ya head down "

I slowly looked up at him finally making eye contact with the one person I've been trying to avoid.

Even through I didn't understand why he did what he did I still respected the man so whatever he said I obeyed by it

" Have you received any of the letters I've sent "

" Yes they all sitting on the stand unopened "

" So that's how you feel, you still in your feelings all because I maned up and did what I had to do for you and your sister. You should be more mad at your mother atleast I'm still here "

I didn't say anything I really didn't want to say anything. What do you say to a man that doesn't take ownership in what he did. No I'm not saying my mother wasn't wrong for what she did. But I still couldn't get over the fact that he dragged her into that shit.

" only reason why I'm here is cause I promise Lani I would come see you. Other then that I really don't have too much to say to you "

He just looked at me for a second

" You know ya momma kept you on her tit just a minute to long, you stay bitching.

Even when you was little that's all you did. Now if you here looking for some understanding I suggest you pray about that cause you ain't gon get any from me.

I did what I had to do to raise you and give ya ungrateful ass the lifestyle you became accustomed to. How you think we afford to live on a golf course?

When you looked outside all you seen was white bastards that didn't care about me you your sister or ya mother. They was just trying to figure out how to get Obama ass outta office.

Ain't nobody give me shit Dinah. I had to do what I had to do. So I be damned if I sit here and give you an explanation as to why I wasn't there. "