The Life Of a Ghost

I

- K O G I E -

   Parv is dead.

   He's dead.

   Get over it, Kogie.

   He's dead.

   And it was Strife's fault.

   I sat at my desk, trying to work on some music to clear my mind, but I just...

   Couldn't do it.

   Parv was too busy clouding my thoughts. Every moment we spent together, every time he said "I love you" to me, every time his soft, delicate lips touched mine.

   Every memory I shared with him was swimming around my mind right now. It was like I was in a pool of memories, drowning through them all.

   A knock on my door snapped me out of my thoughts. "You okay Kogie?" Leo asked, peeking his head through the door.

   "Yeah, I'm fine."

   "If anything's wrong, you can-"

   "I'm fine, Leo."

   My taller friend wouldn't buy it. "If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here," he told me, "I'm here, Sparkles* is here, Strife-"

   "Strife can go fuck himself." I clenched my fists and growled at the mention of his name. Strife's the one that killed my precious Parv, yet he still walks. He currently resides in his business area, Strife Solutions, instead of in a cold, damp prison cell, where he should be.

   "Kogie, he would never-"

   "'He would never'! That's exactly my point! Most killers are usually people that most people would think are innocent. Like Strife. Most people think he's innocent, but doesn't he carry around a knife at all times? And what did Parv get killed with? A FUCKING KNIFE!"

   "Kogie, calm-"

   "No." I got up and faced Leo, burning with rage. "Make sure Strife doesn't get within a hundred yards as me or he'll suffer the same fate as Parv."

   "I'll warn him." Leo laughed, then walked out of the room. What he didn't know was that I was actually taking this seriously. If we had to be in the same room together and there was nobody else around, then he'd have a knife in his chest within seconds.

    Mental note: always carry a knife around in your back pocket, Kogie.

   As soon as Leo exited the room, I got back to work. Clicking on all the various audio snip-its and piecing them together to make  a song.

   I was doing that until I got to the guitar part. The way the guitar sounded when I played the recording...

   It just sounded too much like Parv.

   I couldn't do it anymore. I had to stop.

Turning my computer off, I silently wept with my head in my palms. I couldn't take it. Almost everything reminded me of Parv. From the music to the arrangements of the bed sheets. They were how Parv always left them; messy on the corner of the bed instead of straightened out and neatly folded up against the pillows, like I had always done it.

"You okay Kogie?" Leo peeked his head in the door and immediately rushed over to my side once he saw the state I was in, engulfing me in a hug.

"Is Parv okay?" I asked him, "No? Then I'm not okay."

"Kogie-"

"I know what you're gonna say, Leo." Growling, I managed to escape his grasp. "I'm not gonna forget about him. I never will. How can you forget about your lover? Do you just... block all thoughts of them out and hope you forget about them? No. You don't do that. They stay in your mind forever until you die yourself, and most people when their husband-"

"Correction, fian-"

"Yeah yeah yeah blah blah blah, I know he was only my fiancé, but we were gonna get married in two days. Two.

"That doesn't matter!" He shouted, standing up so he was now taller than me, "It doesn't matter anymore! He's dead! He doesn't matter anymore! He doesn't exist!"

"Have you forgotten about Phil?" I shot back. Phil was Leo's ex. Phil broke up with him after he saw Leo being a bit too friendly with our friend Sparkles*. "I bet you still think about him every single god damn day. There's not a second where he's not on your mind, because you still love him. Even now that you two aren't together anymore, you still love him."

"Ko-"

"Conversation ended. Get out of my room."

Leo stood there in shock at how I had just backfired his plan. I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to make me forget that Parv even existed. Hell maybe he helped Strife in killing my precious Parvis.

"I said get out of my room!"

Leo still didn't move, standing there in shock.

"NOW!"

I pushed him out, slamming the door behind him and locking it. "Go fuck off with Strife or something if you're gonna try and make me forget about Parv!" I yelled as his footsteps slowly faded away.

Pushing the small coffee table against the door, I flopped down onto my bed and wept. Why did everyone wanna erase Parv's existence? Why did everyone just wanna forget about him?

"Kogie." Sparkles* knocked on the door a few times.

"Go away, Sparks*," I muttered into my pillow, pulling the blankets over me and putting myself into a little land of darkness.

"Fine. I'm gonna have to do this the hard way." my ginger friend started wiggling on the doorway, but swore loudly as he realized the door was locked. Then, with some help from Leo, he unlocked the door and started pushing against it.

"Dammit!" he yelled as he started to notice that there was something up against the door, "Leo, can you help me out here? I can't get the door open!"

"Kogie doesn't want me anywhere near him."

"What? Why?"

"We had a small argument about Parv..."

"Small? I heard it from outside!"

I was contemplating jumping out the window and escaping, but that wasn't really an option because there was a bush of roses under my window.

Well...

"Fine. I'll try another way in." Smiling slightly as the thought came into my mind that I was probably gonna be alone for the rest of the night, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep off the thoughts of Parv. I didn't wanna forget him... but thoughts of him were hurting me more right now than they were helping me.

Minutes later, my window slid open and Sparkles* jumped in, panting. "Kogie," he sighed, coming over to the bed and pulling the covers off, "Come here."

I cried into his chest as more thoughts of Parv entered my mind.

----------

Hey guys! I said this was gonna be up last night but school stress and shit... oops

School's been like really stressful in the last few weeks and the bus has been an absolute hell and I've been trying to sleep off the pain so... yeah...

I've also been busy eating and bathing so yeah, I haven't really had time to write oops

Whale,

Adios