"Have you ever thought of calling when you've had a few? Cause I always do. Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new..."
cover by @laurentheauthoress
I don't own any landmarks, celebrities, social media, anything. only the character...
sorry that i can't believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me
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trigger warning: self harm, blood (there are 2 songs that inspired me for this chapter, sorry and devil in me, each by halsey)
I woke up already in a troubled mood. My feelings were hurt and I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the way Laurie left our apartment without a word. Maybe it was I felt Adam was disappointed in me. Maybe it was me being sad for no reason.
I could feel it in my abdomen. The pain of cramps. My period was starting soon and I was feelings angry. Right now, it was just the wisps of the cramps starting, a mere warning sign of what's to come. I was terrified.
To distract myself from my pending punishment for... being a woman I guess, I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and scrolled through retail listings for apartments in New York.
"Adam look at this apartment," I say and show him my phone. He looks away from my TV and takes my phone. I get slightly irritated, for you don't need to hold my phone to look at a picture. Calm down, I warn myself. I feel a small spike in my pelvis area and I swallow hard.
"I like it." He says. We'd already seen multiple apartments and we hadn't decided on one and it was driving both of us crazy.
"I can make an appointment to see it," I say and grab my phone from his hand. I make an appointment online for tomorrow afternoon and set my phone down on my nightstand. My breath hitches in my throats and I turn away and lay on my side, biting my lip hard.
"Are you alright?" He asks and strokes my back.
"Yeah," I say monotone and close my eyes.
"Are you sure," he presses further.
"Yeah," I repeat myself. I hear the bed rustle beside me and he slides his front against my back and wraps his arm around my waist and holds me tight against him, and the gesture is enough to make tears come to my eyes. I hate being emotional.
Instead, I roll out of bed and onto my feet. "I'm gonna get in the shower," I say.
"I think I'm gonna go out with some friends today," he says from bed, and I turn around in the doorway of my bathroom. "I've been very stressed out."
"Oh," I say, pretending I'm not hurt at all. In honestly I wanted to hold onto him and never let him go. Beg him to stay. "Okay. Have fun." I turn and close the door. I feel tears spring to my eyes. Seriously? Is he tired of me already? Does he hate me?
