The Entirely Truthful Observation Records of My Extra Ordinary Family

6: Can't we just not celebrate birthdays?

Birthday

Close Friend B: Can you believe it? My dad had to ask when my birthday was this year since he forgot!

Close Friend A: My mom always gets mad at my dad since he's always forgetting birthdays and anniversaries. My brother often forgets them too. It probably runs in the family.

Still [nonchalantly]: It took my dad 16 years to remember my birthday.

Close Friend A: ...Aren't you only 16 now?

Still [nodding]: Yeah, it took my dad an entire lifetime to remember my birthday.

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Age

A few months before the above incidence took place this conversation happened.

Still: So dad, when was I born again?

Mr. Ordinary: When you were born? You were born on your birthday, of course! [Chuckling at his own joke]

Still: So which day of the year would that be?

Mr. Ordinary: You think I don't know this? Tch. I got this down pat.

Still: Okay, so when is it?

Mr. Ordinary [concentrating]: ...It was in the summertime, right?

Still: I was born in the same month as you...

Mr. Ordinary: Oh, so January?

Still: Uh huh.

Mr. Ordinary: Is it the 20th?

Still: Mom's born on the 20th.

Mr. Ordinary: So it's the 5th.

Still: Very's born on the 5th. Dad, my birthday is exactly 5 days after yours.

Mr. Ordinary: Ah, so it's the 30th!

Still: Dad, you're born on the 18th of January...

Mr. Ordinary [sighing]: That's why you can't expect me to remember other people's birthdays. I can't even keep track of my own!

Afterwards I caught him secretly making a note of all our birthdays in his calendar.

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Sunday

When I was in high school, I liked to input my personal information into different astrological sites on New Year's Day to see my forecasted horoscope for the upcoming year. While I knew my birth date, specific details such as my birth hour and the day of the week I was born, was a mystery to me. Unlike my dad, my mom was famous for having a good memory of such details; however, there were times she let us down as well.

Me: Hey mom, do you remember which hour I was born?

Mrs. Ordinary: It was around 6 o'clock in the morning. I remember looking up at the wall clock after you popped out.

Me: The fact that you remember it so well is both admirable and kind of gross...Do you remember what day of the week it was?

Mrs. Ordinary [smug]: Of course I would remember, what kind of mother would I be if I couldn't remember something like that? Anyways, they sure are asking a lot of detailed questions this time around.

Me: That's what makes them legit!

Mrs. Ordinary: It had to have been a weekday.

Me: But you're not sure? [grinning] What happened to the words you just said earlier?

Mrs. Ordinary: You cheeky girl. Don't sass your mother. Do you know how difficult it is to give birth to a child? Anyways it was definitely on a weekday. I'm positive of that. I could bet on it!

Me: I'll double check it online then. There must be some online calculator thing.

[Five minutes later]

Me: It was a Sunday. The fifth of February of that year was on a Sunday. You got it wrong mom.

Mrs. Ordinary: ...Are you sure? I could've sworn it was a weekday...

Still [passing by]: Well as you become more of an elder, your memory does deteriorates so...

Mrs. Ordinary: I'm not elderly! I still remember that you borrowed 50 dollars from me three months ago and never paid me back, Still.

Still [laughing awkwardly]: Really? Very, I think your calculator thing was wrong. Mom's memory is still as sharp as ever!

Mrs. Ordinary [smiling]: Kissing up won't mean that I'll rescind your debt.

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Horoscope

Still: So what does your horoscope say?

Me [reading]: It says that my luck with water is also poor so I shouldn't go swimming too often this year. It said the probability of getting to an accident near elevated and on elevated places such as mountains, hills and high-rise buildings is also great. Wide open spaces should also be avoided.

Still: Isn't it just telling you to not leave the house this year?

Me: ...This astrology website is a hoax.