The Entirely Truthful Observation Records of My Extra Ordinary Family

Final Chapter 27: It seems like we've come a long way doesn't it?

Results

After handing in my observation record and accompanying paper with my conclusions to my professor he asked to meet with me after class.

Me: So professor, how did I do?

Professor: You failed.

Me: What???

Professor: You completely went against what was outlined in the instruction sheet I gave and went over with each of you when I first announced that we would be doing this project.

Me: But-but

Professor: That being said, I did think your report was very enjoyable to read so I've submitted your paper to a writing contest.

Me [aghast]: You what?

Professor: You can thank me later and I'm giving you another week to redo your paper for this class. Don't disappoint me.

Me: ....Alright.

Sometime later I receive news that I actually won first place in the writing contest.

Mrs. Ordinary [beaming]: It's all thanks to us that you won! Our characters must've really shone through! I just knew I was meant to be a star!

Mr. Ordinary [can't stop grinning]: It's a small accomplishment for a daughter of mine so I'm totally not proud or anything.

Still: Congrats! I guess all the other entries must've been really mediocre. What did you win?

Me: A certificate and a gift card for the school's bookstore.

Still: That's all? That's so lame. It would've been better if they just gave you a cheque for that much.

Mrs. Ordinary: And that dear daughters is how the school keeps its money. Greedy buggers.

Me: Yeah. I guess I have to make time to go to campus and spend this now.

Still: Can I come with you?

Me: Sure, but you're paying for your own bus fare.

Still: Ugh. We're taking the bus? Ugh. You're so useless. You've had a license for years now but you're still not bold enough to drive.

Me: Shut up. Driving is scary okay?

Still: Why'd you even take the test if you think so?

Me: To have a second form of photo ID! I have an idea. Why don't you drive us? Oh that's right, you don't even have your written license yet.

Still: I've just been too busy to go in for testing that's all.

Me: Busy doing what? I didn't realize being snarky was a real time killer.

Mrs. Ordinary: Alright, you two. Stop squabbling.

Still: Hmph, whatever. [Suddenly recalls something.] Wait, what exactly did you write in that report about us? I mean I just realized that none of us here have actually read this award-winning work of yours.

Mr. Ordinary: That's actually true...We only know we're featured in it.

Mrs. Ordinary: Print us out another copy of that report, Very. Let's read it together.

Me [subtly retreating]: ...I don't think you guys would actually enjoy it too much.

Mr. Ordinary: We won't know that until we read it won't we?

Mrs. Ordinary: And dear girl, if I feature prominently in it, how could it not be good?

Me: Yeah, I really don't think that's a good idea.

Still [narrows eyes]: You're being weird. Just give us the report. 

Mr. Ordinary: Do it, Very.

Eventually they pressure me to give them a copy of the report. All three of them are making strange faces when they finish going through it.

Mrs. Ordinary: So you're telling me at least a dozen people have read this?

Me: Hehe...

Mr. Ordinary: Not including the people who may have accessed it online from the contest page?

Me [forcing a laugh]: Funny how technology brings us closer together, huh?

Still: You know what it means when people tell you things in confidence right, big sister?

[I just laugh shallowly as I take steps backwards. Mr. Ordinary, Mrs. Ordinary and Still advance slowly towards me. Eventually I am captured and ruthlessly tortured using secret Ordinary family means.]

Me [in front of the dinner table with dried tears in my eyes]: You guys are merciless.

Still [eating chips from my secret stash]: Really? Because I'd say we weren't cruel enough.

Mr. Ordinary [cutting into a delicious steak dinner that I don't have a share in]: I agree.

Mrs. Ordinary [dog earring the pages of my books]: I'd say our methods were rather  ordinary wouldn't you think?

Me: So ordinary it's extraordinary....

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Author's Note

And that concludes this narrative! A huge thanks to anyone who continued reading this far!

This story was really just a fun little side project I started to document some of the ridiculous things that have actually been said and done by my family members. For the sake of creating engaging an story I admit to altering details and exaggerating certain things but I'd say a good 70% reflects our family's actual lives which is why I consider it semi-biographical.

Even if you don't end up sharing it with anyone, I encourage everyone out there to keep some sort of record of their interactions with the people they hold dear because I've found that all too soon the memories you've once cherished begin to fade away under the weight of new memories.

Despite how I've portrayed my family members here, in truth, I love them all a lot and I really wouldn't have gotten here without them. So lastly, to my family, thank you as always. And yes, that includes you too, little sister. Even though you're always finding ways to roast me, I still enjoying having you in my life.

Till next time, my precious readers!