For Forever (Evan Hansen x Reader)

Character info/ Chapter one

Walking away.

Thats what everyone did to me. 

I'd like to think I'd became somewhat of a badass over time but the hard shell on the outside protected a scared girl who sat at night, lonely and by herself. 

Well not completely. 

I had three siblings. Madison, Jason, and Margret but only Jason talked to me.

Madison and Margret had pretty much raised me and Jason, they were our half siblings but were about ten years older then me and the only real family I felt I had left. 

Jason always listened to me, always was patient with all my problems, as their were many...  but lately, he was more distant. Maybe it was a new girlfriend, I really couldn't keep track... girls came and went with Jay.

I had a lot of things to escape. Art, Cello, the Internet. I'd went there for salvation... I had friends there. Friends I couldn't bother making in real life. 

I guess there was my cousin Jared but I went to his house every Sunday for awkward family dinners with his mom and dad that basically consisted on them asking if me and Jay were ok every five seconds and basically shoving a bunch of non perishable foods in our faces as they were always worried about Margret and Madisons ability to take care of us. 

To tell the truth, they had all the right to be. 

The girls barely never showed up to Sunday dinner. Im almost positive my Aunt hadn't seen them at all in the last year. 

At school I mainly hung out with my brother, sometimes Jared... but he hung out with weird people... misfits... nothing wrong with that at all but I guess I never had met any of them. 

Ya know what...

Might as well. 

I always say... misfits are the best people, (as one myself) because they'll be loyal to you no matter what because usually, you're all they got. 

I yawned and crawled out've bed going to my notebook which was a gift from my aunt. 

I didn't write in that thing. 

Nah I drew. 

I drew flowers and trees and my brother... Thats all I had ever drew. Nothing new. Nothing different. 

But I longed for something different. I longed for a different shape, a different colour... a different person. 

I walked downstairs, sat next to my brother at our table and poured myself a ziplock baggie of dry cereal before messing up his hair causing him to groan and running upstairs to my room munching on the food as I went. 

I threw on a t shirt and put on my twin necklace. 

It was sorta stupid but when we were four my mom had bought me and Jason matching necklaces with each others letter of our first name engraved into the opposite persons necklace. 

It was basically all I had left of our mom before she and dad split. 

Dad sorta fell apart after that and I haven't seen him or mum since. 

Margret thinks she's somewhere in Europe but I have darker suspicions that I don't like to think about. 

I tied a red flannel around my waist and put several pens and pencils for drawing in my small breast pocket. 

I slipped on some bleached ripped jeans and tied my hair into a messy bun, twirling around the third piercing I had gotten on my ear as I did when I was nervous.