For Forever (Evan Hansen x Reader)

Chapter 3

A/N:

Angst in this one. 

Probably will hit you right in the feels.

This is also very character based as it doesn't involve Evan as much but I'll do a big fluffy Evan chapter next I promise. <3

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Evan, Jason, Alana, Jared.

I said those four names in my head as I climbed the mountain. 

The mountain was a giant sandstone ridge that overlooked a lake. 

It was more of a cliff but mountain sounded cooler. 

I came here to play cello. 

I could draw anywhere but I couldn't play cello just anywhere. It had to be a perfect place. A quiet tranquil place. 

My dad taught me how to play. I remember him doing so like it was yesterday. 

I didn't like to think about him... but Madison always said that remembering was the key to getting over stuff. 

Remember the nice things, push away the awful things. 

My dad wasn't the greatest guy but he made my mom happy and thats all that counted. 

They were the ones who first took me to the mountain. 

It was march, I was wearing a sundress that my mom had forced me into earlier and we were happy. 

We overlooked the lake. 

My e/c eyes were widened with awe.

Then my dad pushed me in. 

I remember falling, and feeling like I was suffocating. 

I remember the tranquil water surrounding me and me sinking to the bottom as fast as a piece of brick. 

I remembered my moms frantic yells and my paddling to get to the surface. 

What I remembered the most was being driven to the hospital and after a couple days being sent home with a lollipop and a pat on the back. 

Thats when the fights started. 

I remembered they would get worse every day... and then mom left. 

And I still think it's my fault. 

The thing about the mountain is it's all of my worst fears bundled up into one singular dot on a map. 

I hate bodies of water larger then bathtubs, I hate any hill bigger then a speedbump, and its all because of that one day. 

After I was brought home from the hospital, I swore I would never come back to the mountain but I soon decided that if I wanted to get over my fears, I would have to face them head on. 

Evan, Jason, Alana, Jared. 

This was also the only place I was WILLING to practice cello as Zoe Murphy had officially ruined jazz band for me. 

She was making my life a living hell without even knowing it. 

Evan had chose a... complicated path to say the least on the long list of different things he could've done to fix the Connor thing. 

The long and short of it was that he didn't have the heart to tell Zoe's family that their son had no friends so he made a fake friendship between them that not only made the Murphy's like him, but his crush Zoe.