For Forever (Evan Hansen x Reader)

Chapter 4

A/N: 

This chapter is in Evan's POV.

Please Enjoyyyyyy

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Friends.

I had... a lacking of them my whole life.

I remember one time in first grade a boy stubbed his toe playing kickball. I tried to help him up but he pushed me right back down again. 

Then there was the time in forth grade when I had my first crush. 

I thought she was wonderful. But naturally, she hated me just like everyone else. 

Then of course sixth grade when people stopped hating me and started ignoring me. 

I'd never had that friend that you'd see in the movies or books. 

The friend who was supportive and sweet and funny and... just... perfect. 

I'd never had any friends actually. 

Thats why I had such an easy time making up my friendship with Conner... I knew what I wanted. 

I guess I had Jared or Alana or even Zoe... but... 

No one had made me as truly happy, or as freaking sad, as y/n. 

She wasn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination but she was... enough. 

Thats all I needed. 

I truly didn't know how I felt about her. 

But she was there and she cared about me for me and thats all that counted. 

She had been in the hospital for a bit now, it had been confirmed that she was okay, she just had a broken arm. 

I of course, was a crying wailing mess and no matter how many times Jason or my mom told me it wasn't my fault I couldn't help but think otherwise. 

I told her to jump. 

I, Evan Hansen literally told my best friend. My only true friend, to jump of a cliff. 

I didn't know she was scared, I didn't know she couldn't swim. 

All I knew was that I could've killed her. 

I could've... effing killed her. 

This was the fifth time I had visited her in the two days she'd been in the hospital. 

Even in the hospital, she looked so alive, simply radiating joy as the rest of the world sunk into darkness around her. 

Jason was a mess, which was understandable being that she was the only part of his family that he trusted and the relief that spread across his face when the doctors told us she wasn't seriously injured was truly amazing. 

Jared had come a couple times to visit and bought her some pens and paper so she wouldn't be bored. 

The Murphy's had bought flowers for her because I guess they cared about me enough now that they valued my friends as well as me. 

I was the delivery boy. 

I knocked quietly on the off white door of her hospital room to make sure she wasn't asleep. 

"Come in." I heard so I followed instruction. 

I scratched the back of my head awkwardly and set the flowers on her bedside table.

Though she was literally in the most depressing place ever, her y/e/c eyes shone through it all.

My heart beat a bit faster for a reason which was unknown to me. 

"I uh... nice cast." I said gesturing to her broken arm with mine. 

She laughed and waved it around slightly with a small smirk playing on her lips. 

"Twins." 

I laughed and noticed paper scattered across her bed and multicoloured pens set in front of her. 

"Drawing?"

"Yeah, nothing interesting though." She said handing me the pictures. 

I sighed.

"I forgot how amazing you were..." I mumbled flipping through them and looking through all the complex and wonderful colours and shapes of random items around the room. 

She had drawn her table, the tv, a couple chairs, and the iv fluid.

I smiled up at her and she scowled in return. 

"Its boring in here. I've literally been drawing chairs for the past three hours." She growled slightly and she looked around the room. 

"You could draw me..." I said quietly, secretly hoping she wouldn't hear. 

"Ok!" She said wiping off her work area and grabbing a new piece of paper and a pen before starting the drawing. 

I stuttered slightly before I was shushed by y/n who was very involved in her work. 

"Done." 

About twenty five minutes had passed and I was still afraid to move. 

"Wanna seeeee?" 

I nodded. 

y/n handed the drawing to me and I gasped. 

She had drawn in beautiful realism, every inch of my face. 

My heart beat quickened and a blush spread across my cheeks. 

"Thank you... so much... It means a lot." 

"Why are you thanking me? Your the one who cured me from my boredom." She giggled snatching the drawing back and writing something at the top. 

She handed it back. 

"You will be found? What's that supposed to mean." 

She shrugged. 

"It sounded catchy and poetic... besides... I've known you long enough to know that... you needed somebody to find you... and... I think I was lucky enough... to have done so." She said scratching letters onto her cast with her nail. 

I blushed an even deeper red and wrapped y/n into a huge hug. 

"Thank you... for... for everything."

She hugged back. 

"Like I said, I should be thanking you. Now, do ya wanna sign my cast?"

I smiled widely. 

"I would love nothing more." 

I grabbed a pen and scribbled my name in large letters. 

Next to my name I put in slightly smaller letters, two words. 

For Forever. 

She smiled widely and it slowly formed into a smirk.

"Wow. I'm the poetic one?"

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A/N: 

Helloooooooo

I almost made Evan curse but i decided against it cuz he's a cinnamon roll

Ok thank you so freaking much for 100 plus reads!! 

It means so much to me!

And I love all your feedback, so please feel free to leave it. 

Finals have been crazy and I'm sorry for slow updates but hopefully things will be speeding up soon. 

Have a wonderful freaking day and as always

Happy reading<3<3