Little Baby Steps (Zayn Malik)

Epilogue

His face was lit with a warm smile as he watched them, the two most important women in his life, playing together on the swings, their faces both lit with wide smiles. They look so good together, they always had, and that just made it all the worse. They were no longer to be called his. Of course he would forever share the blood of the younger girl; she would forever be his daughter, but that was the limit. He didn’t see her as much as he should have, he just couldn’t seem to find the time to pay her a visit and when he did, he never stayed long, he couldn’t hack seeing them together. It hurt him more than anything in the world to see the love of his life and one of his closest friends acting all lovey dovey, it was pure torture and had been for months, the months since he had lost her to him.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen. The tours and such. Something about the celebrations went to his head that night. He wasn’t usually one to get overly drunk, he never had been, but something about that night in the secluded Spanish bar made him lose his mind. He got smashed. Drink after drink, he fell further and further from reality and into his own little world, a little world that cost him everything. In a drunken haze he had stumbled onto the dance floor and began to move around as much as his drunken state would allow him, stumbling and tripping at every opportunity. That was what drew her to him. She was the type of girl that lived for that sort of situation. She had made her way towards him; her plastic smile stretched across her fake tanned face and wrapped her arms around his neck…

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened next. She had kissed him, kissed him at the most inopportune time, just as a photographer for one of the world’s biggest gossip magazines had swanned past, snapping a picture. It didn’t take all that long for the picture to make its way onto the front cover of the world’s tabloids, he was a model singer after all,  wonder boy with the girlfriend and the baby at home, it was to irresistible not to publish. And that was why she had left him, one drunken, stupid kiss, an action she thought they had grown out of, that was what had made her leave him behind.

To be honest, he didn’t really blame her. They’d been through it before except it was the other way around, but he knew it was worse for him to do it. He was forever showing her and their daughter off to the world, claiming how devoted he was to them both, that picture just made him look like a hypocrite, the one thing he knew she couldn’t stand. It had made her question his commitment to her and their daughter; question it so much that she had no real choice but to leave him. Of course he hated himself for being so stupid, but there was nothing he could do now, he didn’t own a time machine.

He still loved her. Even if she did insist on dating one of his closest friends, he couldn’t hate her; he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. She was still the mother of his child, the love of his life, no matter what she did or who she dated, nothing could ever change that, Zayn quite simply wouldn’t allow it to change.

He didn’t want to lose her, not completely anyway, he still wanted her to be in his life in some capacity, something she wanted too. She may have broken his heart, but she wasn’t bitchy about it. She knew that he still had rights, that he, no matter what happened between them, would still be Charlotte’s dad and that he would forever be, she couldn’t deny him access to their child, even if it did mean bringing her boyfriend around more often.

With a soft sigh, he adjusted the woollen hat on his head, pulling it down over his eyes slightly more as he watched them stroll past. His hand held hers tenderly as she helped their daughter toddle alongside them. Zayn couldn’t help but smile at them, they looked like a real family and had it not been for his link to them, he would have believed that they were precisely that, but he knew they weren’t, he knew it was him that should have been holding her hand and helping their daughter, that was the way things were supposed to be.

His thoughts however were broken by the friendly smile of the man who had replaced him in the family picture. “Zayn Mate” he called, his accent addled voice echoing cheerily in the cool air of the autumnal afternoon “Man why are you hiding?” he enquired curiously.

Zayn pulled his hat from his head and placed it in his lap, flashing a small, forced, smile. “Not hiding buddy” he responded with forced enthusiasm “Just cold” he smiled. “Dada” the small girl cooed softly as she placed her down on the bench. Zayn smiled softly as his daughter and lifted her onto his lap, embracing her warmly. “Hiya monkey” he breathed as he inhaled the soft scent of cherries that lingered in her caramel tresses. Out of the two of her parents, she had grown to resemble Zayn more than she had grown to resemble Claire, something that he adored, even if she did have a new boyfriend, Charlotte would forever remind her of the one she had left behind. “Are you having fun?” he asked her as she stared at him blankly, she was only a year old after all, she could barely speak let alone understand him. “Yeah she is” he smiled kindly, his eyes showing a small amount of empathy for his friend and bandmate “She loves those swings” he chuckled. Zayn peered at Claire out of the corner of his eye, noting the awkward look on her features.

“Hey Liam” she whispered softly as she grabbed his arm “Why don’t you take Charlie back to the car. I’ll be with you in a minute” she smiled. Zayn watched his mate take his daughter in his arms and then place a kiss to his girlfriend’s lips, one that filled Zayn from head to toe with anger. It should have been him that she was kissing, not Liam, never Liam.

“Why’d you send him away? I was enjoying spending time with my daughter” Zayn noted once they were alone, his normally calm and collected voice echoing with a hint of annoyance. Claire sighed “Don’t give me that” she sighed “You couldn’t have looked more awkward” she stated simply. Zayn merely rolled his eyes, allowing his inner child to show once more. “Besides, if you truly wanted to spend time with her, you would come and see her. Zayn, let’s face it, you’ve hardly spent an hour with her since we broke up, you don’t really care about her” she sighed. He merely remained mute.

As much as he wanted to fight her, to tell her that he loved Charlotte with all of his heart, he knew he couldn’t, or rather, he shouldn’t. Claire already resented him, even if she didn’t show it; he knew that she resented hm. Telling her that he hated spending time with their daughter whilst her new boyfriend was in the room was only destined to make that grow. “You know what Zayn, screw you” she hissed as she walked away, her words stinging like a cut to his skin as she went. He sighed to himself and placed his head in his hands.

Never had he regretted something as much as he regretted that night, the night that had cost him his family, it was quite simply the worst mistake he had ever made. He missed everything she entailed. He missed late night runs to the store when they ran out of milk. He missed getting kicked out of bed in the morning just to check on Charlotte, he missed everything.

But most of all, he missed the way she used to tell him that she loved him. Never had the words had so much meaning as when they were spilling from her lips, they were just perfect.

“I’m an idiot” he whispered lowly to himself

“I miss them so much” he added sadly.

He knew he needed her back…

(A/N) I guess this is the end. It kinda ended in a cliffhanger didn't it?!
I'm not really sure if there'll be a sequel. Sorry, but please don't forget to vote and feel free to leave your comments. Do check out my other works as well, thanks :)