Dysmorphia

Crushed Hopes

To make matters even worse Chase didn't come into work Saturday night, which felt like a slap in the face.

A feeling of sheer loneliness encompassed Florence, she hadn't realised how big an influence Chase had made to her life at the clinic for all her talk about how she didn't need him anymore, her cold nurse Macy or Dr. Levi were no replacement.

When she awoke on Sunday to her surprise she saw her father in the chair usually filled by Chase, fidgeting awkwardly with the armrests.

"How's your sessions with Dr. Levi going?" was the first thing he said.

She sat on the bed, feeling exposed and vulnerable. She was no longer her father's little girl, he was inspecting her like she was a patient, which she was but it would have been nice to be looked at in the way she had once been, with love and interest. Her entire relationship with her parents was now changed forever, she had been prepared to hate them forever.

But staring at her father she realised he looked as weary as she felt. She decide to offer an olive branch, he had put her here but had done it thinking he was doing the right thing, in a way he had been doing the right thing, she was in recovery, wasn't she?

"They're okay" she replied "I had one today, he seems to think I might need some medication"

Her father let out a sigh.

 "That's good, that's good Florence. I think Dr. Levi really knows what he was doing"

She didn't correct him, Dr. Levi had appointed Chase as her nurse, which has consequently caused her all kinds of emotional pain, but also her first hint of a real connection, even if that connection had crashed and burned. Maybe it had been a favour that Chase had given her, the final blow had been dealt and she wouldn't ever give her heart away so easily again, she was learning all kinds of skills here.

"I know you hate me now Florence, I know you think I let you down, and I did I let you down so badly, but we just want you back" he ran a hand through his hair struggling for words.

"I'm sorry about how things went at home, we handled it badly, But Flo, please understand that we didn't know what to do, we just wanted our daughter back"

She almost laughed in his face, which version did they want back, the fat girl or the anorexic one?

Florence realised with a shock that it was the first time she'd openly thought it, she'd always managed to tell herself that she was merely watching what she ate even as her bones began jarring out and her skin had become merely a thin layer of paper protecting her from breaking apart.

But looking at his face she could see he meant this as his own kind of olive branch, she let a little empathy flood through her veins, imagining how it must have felt for her parents to see her reduced to someone who looked as if a strong wind could carry them away.

"How's Mum?" she asked, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

He shook his head "You know your Mum, she likes things to be a certain way, she's been staying late nights at the Diner every day, she feels responsible like she should've prevented this before got so..."