Dysmorphia

Facing The World Pt. 2

Florence hadn't realised how far she had come until that very morning where she ate a bowl of porridge without even thinking about it, her mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of her diary.

She no longer needed saving, Chase had helped her along the way but deep down she knew she had saved herself just as much as he had saved her, she had begun to accept that though she wasn't perfect in an shape or form, she was enough to keep herself going, she half-understood why that conversation had even occurred, why he was so insistent that she live only for herself.

She picked up the diary next to her and took a deep breath before flicking to the page where her bookmark sat.

A stab in the back is almost bearable, a stab in the heart, that can never be forgiven

Cooper accosted me in the bathroom today, thats the only word I can use to describe it, its pretty darn presumptuous that she thinks she has the right to lecture me about my health and play the worried ex-friend when they were the ones who left me hanging out to dry in the first place, she hurled all sorts of accusations at me.

She even told the biggest lie I've ever heard, she told me she was jealous of me, what is there to be jealous of, my fat thighs? my multiple chins?

But there was one thing she was right about, I do have a problem, but its a problem I don't want to confront because I am far too afraid to do anything about it

She Madison and Lauren stabbed me in the back when they left me to cope with one of the worst moments of my life, but acting like she cared, acting like the old Cooper, that was a stab in the heart

Florence

Florence understood Cooper better than she ever had before when she thought back to their conversation, Cooper was so afraid that one day she would become replaceable, she thought the only thing going for her was her looks, in a way they had both been trapped inside their own bodies.

I don't believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in hate at first sight, I thought it was love at first sight when Lauren nudged me as Cameron Tate walked onto the sports field.

But when everything went down, when the whole business of the FBPG began one lunchtime I tripped over my own shoelaces and sent my plate of macaroni cheese that I didn't intend to eat flying, he was the one who started the laughter, everyone pointing and everyone laughing at the spectacle that was the fat girl covered in food, nothing could be funnier

That was the day I decided never to eat in the cafeteria anymore

Florence

That was one thing she would never comprehend, why did people savour putting each other down so much? She could slightly understand why popular people would enjoy the bullying, it created drama, it created gossip and also kept them at the top, the only way to stay on top was to constantly push them down.

But as for the rest of them? Were they really so pathetic and insecure with their own lives that they needed to crush hers? 

All those bystanders, Facebook comments, shares, sniggers, scrawls on the bathroom door, rumours, sneering, ignoring and every single comment thrown her way were done by people who hardly knew her, who had no right to ever know her.