No Turning Back | fkac

05 ▷ Courtney & tea

Esther Ruth ▷

To say that I was a hot mess was an understatement. Everything was still so vivid in my mind, and it kept replaying.

Replaying all the happy memories of Cameron and I.

Replaying the moment I found out that I was a mum.

Replaying the moment I was shot.

Replaying the moment when I discovered that Cameron left; and left me heartbroken.

Everything now just seemed so bitter. Bitter to the taste, and it was killing me. It almost seemed like a poison was slowly filling my heart, and thar was killing me itself. I simply refuse to become bitter from this. I still have my baby to think of.

"Esther, honey."

I looked up as Courtney put her hand on my shoulder. She smiled softly.

"I'm sorry, yeah?" I apologized, looking to her.

"Come with me. Jude is at preschool, and Luke took Phoenix with him." She offered, "Come on. Let's have tea and talk."

I laughed, "You've never sounded more Australian, Courtney, but sure." I nodded.

Courtney took my hand and pulled me up, grinning at me. In that moment, I was so grateful for my twin and his wife.

"Come on," she mumbled, turning around and dragging me into their kitchen. She gently pushed down onto one of the barstools and pushed over the mug of tea in front of me. She grinned at me, "Girl talk."

I laughed, "Girl talk about what?"

Courtney simply rolled her eyes and giggled. "The baby, silly. Are you gonna keep it?"

I bit my lip and sighed, looking down. I only stared at the mug of tea. I nodded though.

"Yeah. I'm keeping my baby." I smiled slightly, "We were trying for two years, but this I can still have the family I've dreamed of. I mean, whether this baby is a boy or girl, they've got a big family who loves them."

"Aunt Est!"

Courtney and I laughed, hearing Jude run through the hallway and into the kitchen. Phoenix followed after his brother, then it was Luke.

Luke grinned, "Hm. My beautiful wife, and favorite sister."

"Suck up," I muttered playfully, rolling my eyes. Luke scoffed, gently pushing my shoulder, then kissed his wife's cheek.

Oh, I missed that from my husband already. I would have anything for my husband to love me right now.

"Esther, you okay?"

I looked up, my brother looking at worriedly. I faked a smile and nodded.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I mumbled.

Courtney stood up, picking Phoenix off the floor. She smiled at her son and kissed his forehead.

"Come on, boys. Let's let daddy and aunt Est talk. Let's go play." Courtney grinned.

Jude smiled and nodded enthusiastically, running off. Courtney laughed, shaking her head and following Jude. Luke then looked to me, sitting down in Courtney's previous seat.

"Tell me the truth, Esther Ruth. Or I will tell mum," he started. I groaned, rolling my eyes at the fact that he pulled the mum card.

"I just miss my husband. I miss Cameron. I wonder what I did to make him fall out of love with me." I shrugged, "What was so wrong with me that he couldn't love me?"

Luke sighed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"You didn't do anything, Esther." Luke whispered, "Cameron's fault that he didn't see your true worth. He was lucky to have you, and that's his fault for not seeing it."

I sighed, looking down to where my baby would be resting. I had to have a plan for this baby. I wasn't giving up, not now. I knew God had something in store for me.

"There's no turning back now. I have to be the best I can be, and not just for me." I muttered.

Luke grinned, "There ya go. That's the attitude you need, Esther. And you know that you have a whole family that will help you through this."

"Thanks Luke." I whispered.

"Higher! Higher, aunt Est!" Jude squealed as I pushed him on the swing.

I laughed, pushing him slightly higher on the swing. Luke was chasing Phoenix around the yard, listening to him squeal and yell as well. I stopped the swing, and protected Jude from falling off.

Luke caught Phoenix, and rolled onto the ground. Phoenix began laughing, and Jude soon followed.

"Boys," Courtney sighed, causing all of us to look up at the back door. "Be careful. Now, come in and wash up. It's dinner time."

Jude hopped off the swing and ran towards the door. Luke stood up, putting Phoenix on the ground and watching him run towards his mother. Courtney laughed, shaking her head as their sons entered the home and went in with them.

Luke smiled, waiting up for me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. His smile turned into a smirk, and he poked my stomach.

"That's gonna be you in a few years." Luke laughed.

I scoffed and shook my head, "Yeah, only this baby won't have their father to play with."

"No," Luke grinned, "But they'll have uncle Luke and uncle Joel."

I shrugged, "I'm not sure that's the best," I giggled. Luke shook his head and rolled his eye.

"What were you planning on doing with the baby? Are you keeping him?" Luke questioned.

I laughed, looking up to my twin as we stepped on the back porch. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Him? Mate, who said it was a boy?" I asked, "The good Lord knows this family has too many boys."

"True," he sighed.

"But, I'm gonna work a couple more weeks, then possibly resign. I've got to keep safe for the baby. Then find a smaller house," I began to explain, "I won't be able to afford my house for much longer."

Luke smiled softly, then pulled me for a hug. I sighed slightly, completely thankful for my wonderful family.

"We can talk to Joel, but maybe we can get you a job with us. Experience a little more, experience the fans." Luke offered.