rupture - l.s.

Chapter 7

"Nana, can you pass me the sugar, please?", I look affectionately at my lovely grandmother. She nods, smiling, and passes me the small decorated can with a trembling hand.

"Thank you." I lax something from the contents of the can into my tea and set it aside.

She sits down again and looks at me urgently.

"Harold, I've been your grandmother for 21 years. I know if there's something on your mind. And your invitation for a tea party today certainly has a background.", she pours some milk into her tea and looks at me again."Oh, grandma! There isn't always something going on whenever I invite you.'', I say.''Can't I invite you without having something important that I need to tell you?''.

"You're heartbroken, am I right?'', she skillfully ignores my question and looks at me so intensely that I might think that she can look into my soul.

"Grandma, really. Everything is-''.''You look just like you've been looking at me when the whole drama with Louis started back then.", she interrupts me."What is the matter? "

I sigh and look away.

"My new job ...is in a bar. In the bar of Louis' uncle.'', I begin to tell."You got a new job? And you're telling me this this late?'', she gives me a warm smile.

"Sorry, you'll know right away why I did not call you.", I stroke my thumb across her palm.

"Well, Louis' uncle died, and now he is my boss.", I murmur quietly."Who?", she looks at me confusedly."Louis!", I say, now a bit louder.

"He now is my boss and annoys me totally. He makes fun of me, allows guests to literally bite my ass when I bend down for something, he-"."Why don't you fight back?'', she interrupts me again. An annoying habit of her, but I know how fast I start to talk way too much.

"Why I don't fight back?" I repeat her question. She nods and looks at me attentively.

"I-I have no idea ... '', I look at my cup.''Somehow I'm afraid to it. Afraid, that he fires me and mum and dad will disown me.''Harry, you're always so confident. Why not now?'', she asks and puts her hand on top of mine.''Something has changed.'', I say and stir around in my cup with my spoon. 

"You must show him that you are a strong, wonderful man with a good character and intelligence.", she pulls her hand away again to grab her cup."Show him that not he, but you are the one wearing the pants in this situation."That's easy to say like that, grandma." I say, and sigh.

"That means you did not call me, because of a stupid guy who broke your heart?", she asks me and drinks a sip of her tea. I nod my head silently.

"My thoughts just do not leave me alone. I have to think all the time. About him, about me, about my future.'', I put away the spoon, "Just about everything. And it makes me go crazy, I want to scream. Run. Disappear and get married with a hot american dude and forget about everything. "

"But that is not life, sweetie." I find my grandmother's hand on my own again.

"Life consists of figuring out who you are. Then you love to learn and build a future for yourself. And everyone handles that in a different way. You have to learn what you like and what you do not like. In general, you need to get to know yourself. As if you were a stranger to yourself. And you go your own way. You will get to know people who walk with you and then leave you on your way. But let them go and do not turn around for them and walk a different way! "

"Because if you bend, you see how the others are going to the finish line and you may never find your way back to your own goal. ''

-

"No, you have to take the photos in this position.", Louis takes the camera out of my hand and shows me the pose in which to take the picture. He kneels and holds the camera a bit lower.

,,Roger that?''.

I nod and take back the camera. Then I do exactly what he did. I kneel down, make a few painful noises because my knees rub against the hard stone floor.

"Are you ok?", the blue eyed boy asks me in front of me and I answer with a 'mhm'.

When I'm in the right position, I hear his voice, "Exactly like that."

I smile and wait until he tells me, when I should photograph him.

"I'm a bad photographer, let's leave it.", I say, holding the camera into his direction.

"But I thought we wanted both in the photography and art course and then go to the art school. You must be able to do this.'', he looks at me confusedly.

"Louis, have you ever seen my drawings?" I get up and rub my knees, which hurt a little."They look like a 4-year-old with two left hands tried to draw."

"With some practice, it will get better."

I sigh.

"Louis, my dream is to become an author. Or a journalist!'', I look briefly at the ground and play with my fingers."Not a photographer."

"I thought we wanted to build a future together, Harry.", his tone sounds more serious. "The same future? Where I just imitate what you do and then run after you, like a little dachshund?'', I ask him."No, I definitely do not want to live my life that way."

"Well, that means I can move near the school of art and you stay here?", he lets his hands and his camera sink."That's exactly what it means, Louis.", I look at him intensively.

Both of us are silent.

"All right, then ... '', he wants to say something, but I just turn around and run.

I leave him standing there like an idiot and run home. He does not call my name once, or follows me with his rusty bike.

No, he does not care which way I go.

And it does not matter to me which way he will go from now, because it won't be mine.

(A/N)

Sorry for this shitty chapter and my bad english. Hope you liked it anyways!