rupture - l.s.

chapter 14

Many more weeks passed, where Louis and I completely ignored each other. When he said something to me, it was the orders that the bossy side inside of him had to tell me. But otherwise, I could only expect anything else than absolute silence. Not even a 'good morning', as soon as I arrive in the bar early in the morning. And also no 'thank you' or 'please'.

So today, I also suffer from lack of contact with people. I am actually a very social person inside and as soon as I get along well with people, I am even addicted to interactions and conversations.

Louis sits in front of me, but he is busy with some papers in front of his nose. He is wearing black glasses on the bridge of his nose. I did not know he needed glasses. Well, apparently just for reading, but still.

I do not know anything about him anymore.

And the funny thing is that it suddenly makes me sad. We used to be very best friends. And love has destroyed our real friendship. This was actually something that we were afraid of right from the start, but it still happened.

We're not who we used to be.

.

''Louis?''.

"Yes, Harry?".

I am silent for a few moments.

"Do you think we're going to be friends forever?" I ask carefully, knowing how Louis reacts to my sudden and confusing questions all the time.

"H-How ... how do you mean that?".

I smirk because I know him so well and already knew that this answer would come.

My head now turns to him and look at him.

"I mean... if we were ever forced to move away from each other or something ...", I explain, staring into his blue eyes. He stares back, but I cannot interpret what is going on in his head.

Then he suddenly shrugs.

,,I think so.''. I smile. "So that means ... you're sure?", I ask.

He bites his lower lip and thinks for a moment. This small moment worries me and I furrow my eyebrows.

"You're sure, aren't you?"

Louis looks at me again, his look a bit shy.

"As long as you do not let me fall."

How ironic.

He was the one to let me fall.

.

When I arrive at home, I realize how lonely I actually have become. Back then, I was popular, everyone could talk to me and have fun. And now?

I have one single friend. And that is Niall.

My grandmother I speak every few months because she is a busy woman. Even at the age of 64, she still travels around and discovers the world. She has always been my role model.

I grew up with the desire to one day be the same as my nan. Not like my mother. Her life was ruined by the fact that she already had a child at age 16. And also with such a man as my father.

They never loved each other, I am sure.

My father only wanted a woman whom he could call his wife. But to love another person, besides himself? This is something my father fails at.

And now, Niall has other friends, besides me. There is this young man, his name is Zayn. He really looks like an absolute model. But his character...

I once tried at a birthday party to get to know Niall's friends. However, I failed and left the event after only a few hours.

Sighing, I let myself fall onto my bed and pull out my cell phone. An annoying thing in a life of a lonely person is that you often just stare at your mobile phone and wait for hours until your only true friend responds.

You flinch when your phone makes a sound and you're looking over to see that it's just a push-up notification from a game app.

Another point that affects many lonely people (of course not all) is that you celebrate your own personality too much. You laugh at your own photos and jokes too much, often evaluate yourelf better than others would do, because ... you hardly have anyone who tells you their opinion.

"I'm thinking too much," I murmur to myself.

And that is the last point ... you talk to yourself. Or worse: with objects.

Often, I catch myself as I argue with my hairbrush, or the clock, telling it, it should not tick so loud and fast.

Or mostly I fight against time, scream at it, it should not pass so quickly, but I should get some space to breathe before I go crazy, because damn, I'm only getting older and I have reached nothing in my stupid, useless life!

I exhale a sigh of relief.

I look at my feet and decide that I should go take a shower.

If you think too much, that is usually the best solution.

(A/N)

Sorry for this bad chapter