rupture - l.s.

chapter 15

Apparently Louis and I have nothing in common with each other anymore.

I see him doing things everyday that I personally do not like. Back then, however, we supported each other a lot, almost never argued nor fought (except just before everything went down the drain) and always agreed with each other. But now it's the small things that about him that upset me. Either it is smoking or he is - once again - being  rude to a fellow human and makes fun of his appearance. He becomes stranger to me day by day.

And slowly but surely, I'm not sure if I really want to make friends with him again. He has changed too much. Or was that me?

"Hey, curlyhead.", I hear Robert's voice behind me."Hm?", I turn around. The tall, bald man stands behind me with a depressed expression on his face. I sigh."Did Louis give you extra work again? I swear I'll- "."He fired me.", Robert interrupts me and my jaw drops to the floor. I look at him with a surprised look on my face.

"What?!", I exclaim, glancing over to Louis' small 'office', which is really just a dark room with a door that resists of red curtains. My expression gets darker and I look back to Robert. "I'll talk to him.", I say and walk towards the curtains.

An unpleasant smell of fast food and nicotine hits me as I push the curtain aside. And I also see why. Louis sits there with a smoking cigarette in his hand on a chair surrounded by paper bags - with several fast-food brand logos - and his back turned to me. Doing nothing else. When I accidentally throw a bag over with my foot and it crackles, Louis clears his throat. I look up and he has not turned to me yet. Only the back of the chair looks me in the eye.

"Out of my office.", he says in a serious voice. I shake my head, disregarding that he does not even look at me."Why did you fire Robert?", I ask, ignoring his question. Louis sighs and finally turns around. His blue eyes sparkle with annoyance and he has visibly strained his jaw."Why are you interested in that?", he asks, looking me in the eye."Robert and I understand each other very well, why are you firing him if he has not done anything wrong?", I look at him angrily.

Who does he think he is?

Robert is such a good colleague and always nice to everyone. Yes, yes, I know he could be mean at first as well. But he has improved day by day - and that's how Louis thanks him?

"I do not need any wimp in my life.", he says and stares at me, his eyes reflecting madness. I raise my eyebrow. "Why are you looking at me like that?", I ask him and he rolls his eyes.

"Because you're a wimp, Harry!", he suddenly says in a loud voice."You told me you would spend your future with me and build something big. You didn't do shit! You ran off!''.

For a while I just look at him and I'm speechless. What does he think of calling me a wimp?

"I'm a wimp?!", I ask furiously and approach him."You're the wimp! You just wanted a new one instead of fighting for me! Because you were too weak, Louis.'', I look at him with stern eyes. 'You were weak and you gave me up.''.

As tears form in his eyes, I continue to be mean to him. So that I can finally release this frustration that has been bottled up inside of me over years.

"You left me alone for so long! Did not answer my messages and my letters. I wanted to be your friend, Louis. We had made a promise.'', I keep approaching him and I'm standing in front of him now.''You promised me that we would stay friends.' '.

He also gets up and looks back into my eyes, which now also fill with tears.

''You hurt me. You took my heart and just tore it apart! '', now I'm yelling - didn't expect that. I yell in his face and make him feel the pain that had been slumbering in me for too long.

"And then suddenly you were standing in front of my door - after such a long time.", I whisper and he puts a hand to my cheek, trying to wipe away the tears flowing in streams before they hit the ground.

I sniff and look at him. Never have I felt so vulnerable as at this moment. Not even when I saw him with another, or when we argued for the last time and he left. 

His eyes are still on me.

"I could not forgive you, Louis. I just could not do it. ''. He swallows hard and looks down at the floor. "I'm sorry, Ha -"."No, you're not sorry, Louis." I say. And exactly as I try to pull away, his lips land on mine.

Widening my eyes, I push him away and my palm makes contact with his cheek. The seconds after that pass like in a haze.

He touches his cheek and gives me a look that I have never seen on his face. And I...

I leave the room and leave him alone.

Do you understand me now, Louis?