She's a saint, not a sinner.

Total Bliss and Pure Emotional Torture

Sherine's POV

My head was throbbing painfully as the bright sun rays shone through the window making a mockery of last night's binge drinking. My hand was frantically searching the night stand for some Advil, when it hit me -  this wasn't my room, this was Matt's. I tried to sit up straight, flinching in pain, seeing Matt next to me sound asleep. He looked adorable, a sly smile resting on his face. I didn't regret last night, but this morning was a whole different story. When someone was suddenly noisily knocking on the front door, I had a good guess who it was. 

'Shit, shit, shit'. I nearly tripped as I rushed out of Matt's bedroom, collecting parts of my clothes in the hallway. 

'God damn, Matt open up' Brian's voice rang through the door. 

I stood in the hallway, scantily dressed, contemplating my options. I figured Brian wouldn't simply leave, so I dragged myself to open the front door. 

Brian shot me an odd look, before trying to get a glimpse of Matt who was nowhere to be seen. He kept eyeing me up and down. From my messy sex-hair, worn-out Rancid T-shirt, down to my crossed bare legs - speak about awkward. 

'Mind telling me what the fuck's going on?' I could tell he was pissed, which made me do a little happy dance on the inside, although I was well aware that this emotional response was probably fucked up. 

'Matt's still asleep. We had a bit to drink last night' I mumbled, desperately tucking at the hem of my short shirt. What happened next was without doubt anything like what I had expected. Brian grabbed my hand and pulled me with him.

'Stop, what are you doing?' I whined, my bare feet touching the hot surface of the concrete.

'I get it, ok? You had your revenge, I'm pissed and jealous. You're staying with me from now on'. 

A big grin was plastered on my face, pushing away all dark thoughts. I couldn't care less walking the streets in nothing , but a T-shirt and a smile with Brian on my arm. When he stopped for a second to look at me, I swear the world  stopped turning. I couldn't explain why or how, but he had me in the palm of his hand, able to crush me any second. It was a slippery slope between absolute bliss and pure emotional torture. 

'Come on, I'll carry you' he muttered as he stared down on my bare feet. 

'I'll pick up your stuff later'. 

Brian's POV

As I carried her half-naked body through the quiet neighbourhood, it  dawned on me that we were responsible for each other's slow demise. As attracted as I was to this limp body hanging onto me, I was scared shitless of what we were capable of doing to each other. I knew she had fucked Matt. It did bother me. A. Lot. But for some reason, this underlying tension and hatred for her actions left me with gratifying passion. As soon as we got home, I pressed her against the wall, kissing ,sucking and biting her neck. She moaned in pleasure which put me into unmeasurable ecstasy. As she gazed into my eyes with her well rehearsed coy look, I was done, a fool on my knees for this beautiful creature. I carried her over to my bed and our hands eagerly started roaming our bodies. 

She lay next to me, panting heavily, her fingertips circling my skin. I felt ashamed. We were bad for each other. I could tell she felt the same way. But who would stop us? 

'Brian-' her hoarse voice cracked and I gently stroke her cheek. 

'I know we can make this work'.

Her hopeful naiveté was charming, but not enough to make me stray from my decision.

'Casual dating is the only thing that works for me. You fucked Matt, I'll fuck someone else on the weekend, all good'.

Her smile turned into a frown. For some reason I took pleasure in her agony. It was disgusting to be in love with her pain, but I realised she was the closest thing I had ever experienced to true love. Nobody ever before had given me such attention and adoration. It was utterly satisfying and somewhat scary. For as long as I would stay emotionally uninvolved I felt I could keep her interest. My parents had split up when I was only five. They couldn't even stand being in the same room for watching me perform in school plays. I didn't know the feeling of unconditional love between two grown ups. 

'But just so you know, Sherine, you will always be the one for me'.