She's a saint, not a sinner.

Bronze Your Tatas (Long Update)

'We see you later, cutie' Johnny said, hugging me tightly. 

'We'll miss you' Jimmy chimed in, high-fiving me. 

The boys were about to leave for their video shoot. Brian and I agreed that it was probably best if I stayed home. My mind was racing with terrible thoughts. What if Brian thought these models and actresses were more his type? What if he realised that he'd rather be single and -

'Babe?' Brian was giving me a small smile, trying to get my attention. 

'You okay?' 

I wanted to tell him that I wasn't. In fact, I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs that I was terrified of loosing him. But I didn't want to be that girl. 

'Have fun. Well no, I mean I hope it goes well' I said lamely, giving a small wave.

'Don't worry your pretty little head. I know what you're thinking. But none of these girls come even close to you. It's just work' he kissed my lips passionately and I just wanted to stay in this moment forever.

'Brian, we really gotta go' I heard his annoying voice call. River had been over constantly since the last meeting, discussing ideas, also for the tour. When Brian pulled away, my eyes fell on River and a beautiful woman in a bikini top and very short shorts, probably more of a belt, standing next to him. She had shiny long, brown hair, the kind of sleek hair that not even hours of hair-straightening could achieve. I instantly got this stomach-churning feeling. 

'Your girlfriend?' I asked meekly, hoping this wasn't one of the 'hot babes' River had promised for the video shoot. 

'We'll see about that' he eyed her up and down with a smug expression on his face. 

'This is Celina. She'll be the devil, taking Brian's soul in the video. So hyped about this. But seriously chop-chop, we gotta go.' 

Brian had a big grin on his face and I playfully elbowed him, but I could already tell this afternoon would be a nightmare. Just pacing and waiting and wondering. 

'Come on handsome' Celina said and Brian gave me one last quick kiss before skipping through the door. 

I couldn't help but feel insignificant. I wondered if this was simply the life of a musician's girlfriend or if I was particularly unfortunate. 

For hours I cleaned the house with music blasting loudly, trying to distract myself, pretending I was being ridiculous. Sure Celina had legs up to my chin and two very convincing arguments, but Brian loved me. Right when I was about to stuff my face with ice-cream and drown my sorrows in cheap wine I decided it was enough. 

'I'll just see how they're getting on with their video' I said to myself as I got ready, putting on a nice red summer dress with a pair of white Chucks. 

Okay, you've officially entered Patheticville, I thought to myself as I pulled up to the studio where the video was being filmed. I saw the guys' car parked outside. A couple of scantily clad women walked past me. As I got out of the car, someone grabbed me by the arm. 

'You're late. God damnit. I'll never work with your agency again. So unprofessional'. A tiny man with a large moustache kept pulling me, motioning me to hurry up. 

'Excuse me, I think there's a misunderstanding.' 

'There will be if you don't get into the dressing room right now.' 

Before I could object again, I was pushed into a trailer with two other girls that had a frighteningly orange complexion. 

'Here, rub some bronzer on your tatas. You are way too pale. That's not going to look good on camera. And that's your outfit. Hurry'.