She's a saint, not a sinner.

Honeymoon

Brian's POV

I feel my stomach drop when she places our rings on the coffee table. I can't believe I just confessed my love for her and this is the response I get. This is exactly why I never mess with love, why I only do hook-ups. The silence is killing me, my whole body is trembling with anger, I feel like smashing another bottle. 

'So what, you wanna marry Matt instead? Just stop lying to yourself already' I say through gritted teeth, hoping to get a rise out of her. 

She places her head between her hands, her big round eyes staring up into mine. I can't read her expression. Is it disappointment, sadness, anger? Probably all of the above. 

'We're no good for each other. Every once in a while there will be a love so all consuming and head-spinning that you lose yourself in it. But that doesn't mean that it's right or healthy. What we are is toxic' she says quietly and every word feels like a stab in my heart. She isn't wrong. Her words are so spot on that it's hard to be upset with her. 

'But I also know that there is no room in my heart for any other man, because you will always remain in there' she adds with a sigh and for a moment my battered heart seems to recover. 

'This is such a mess' I can see the frustration in her eyes and how her instincts are probably telling her to just run. I know mine are. 

I slowly reach for her hand, caressing it, holding it, trying to comfort her.

'We can work this out if this is truly what you want.'

She looks at me expectantly before I add a low 'It's what I want.'

My eyes follow her every move, the ruffles of tulle rustling audibly as she gets up walking over to me. My breathing is heavy, I just want to hold her and to know that we're going to be alright. 

'Let's figure this out later' she breathes lowly, leaning over, planting a kiss on the crook of neck. My heart is nearly leaping out of my chest, she is so close and finally not just physically, but also emotionally. I take in her sweet scent. It's my favourite perfume. It immediately brings back the many incredible memories we made together.

'It's our honeymoon, Haner. Finally get me out of this itchy dress' she says with a playful chuckle and I can feel myself getting hard. I know it's wrong to fix everything with sex, but how can you not when it's so much fun. But this isn't fun, this is teetering at the edge of the abyss. It's all consuming and it hurts like hell when she's not with me. Her finger sneaks under my shirt, drawing small circles on my chest and I'm having trouble concentrating. My hands start to fumble with the zipper of her dress. I just wanna rip it off. It didn't do her justice anyway. One day I will buy her the dress she deserves.

'Fuuuck, it's not coming off' I sigh in frustration and she simply purrs in my ear 'Here let me.'

The dress slides down her perfect figure, revealing her milky, soft breasts. I just wanna bury my face in them. The dress rests right above her perfect hips. As I pull, it tears. I want her so much. My hands find their way between her legs. She is dripping with anticipation and the fabric of my jeans is starting to restrict the growing bulge in my pants. I swiftly grab her small of her back and switch positions, making her sit on the sofa. She lets out a small yelp as I push her legs apart. She tastes so sweet, I wanna spend forever between her thighs. She throws her head back in pleasure and lets out an audible moan. 

'I want you, all of you' she screams and my heart is full. I oblige and strip down, ready to fuck her till she sees stars. 

We stare at each other breathlessly, my body still pulsating with adrenaline and ecstasy. If this is wrong, I don't want to be right. I caress her trembling hand, the lack of wedding ring making me sad.

'I will get you a diamond, a diamond so large you won't be able to lift your finger' I say with a sly smile and she chuckles.

'So you want to stay married...' she trails off. I inch closer to her, resting my head on her bare chest.

'Yes. But I want a real ceremony. One to remember.' I mean every word of it. She completes me. I regret nothing. I lift my head, hoping she will say something in response. 

'Let's just promise not to repeat our toxic patterns. Let's really try. We've caused enough hurt around us, we need to get it together.'

Just as I am about to smush her face with a bunch of sloppy kisses, the hotel door swings open and my body tenses up immediately. Celina. 

'Babe, you won't believe the day I had. This photoshoot - I mean they made me sit in a bathtub filled with whole-fat milk and cereal all day - like I don't know how many calories seeped into my body from just sitting in there. Gross. I really need a hug, I -' she stops mid-sentence as she catches sight of Sherine and I quickly covering our naked bodies with the bedsheet.

'You son of a bitch' she yells, grabbing the nearest item to toss at me. 

'You said, you were fucking over her and over fucking her! You said she's not even all that pretty. You lying, cheating- argh' she lets out a heartfelt scream. 

I scramble for my clothes, trying to get dressed to calm her down before she goes full on Rolling Stones on our hotel room. 

'And you? Aren't you ashamed?' she screeches at Sherine who stares at me helplessly. 

'Celina, please. Let's talk this through calmly.'

'Why? So you can tell me it's not what it looks like?'

'Oh it's absolutely what it looks like' Sherine says with a sneer and I have to smile a little. That might not have been the best answer to calm things down, but it sure felt good to hear her commit to this. 

'You two deserve each other. Celina is out of here' she says with a huff, slamming the door shut with a loud 'thud' as she leaves. 

'Well, that went well. Let's just hope things go better with Matt' I mutter, slicking back my hair. Sherine wraps her arms around me from behind. 

'Come back to bed. Our honeymoon's not over yet' she whispers gently and again I am helpless under her touch. She makes me weak in the knees. She always has. I can't wait to feel this way with her forever.