She's a saint, not a sinner.

Be My Bad Habit

Sherine's POV.:

When I woke up the next morning and Brian wasn't lying next to me in bed, I panicked. My mind was racing, my breathing quickened as I convinced myself Brian had changed his mind about us. When I heard laughter coming from the kitchen, the knots in my stomach tightened. 

'Please don't tell me he has yet again brought over female company. I cannot handle this before coffee' I muttered to myself, putting on my morning robe before quietly tip-toeing to the kitchen. I felt a sigh of relief escaping my mouth when I caught a glimpse of all the boys having breakfast.

'Morning girlfriend' Brian called, making me smile as the boys cheered making me blush. 

'It's about time' Jimmy exclaimed, making everyone chuckle.

'Scrambled eggs and Irish coffee?' Johnny asked sweetly, having taken over the kitchen as Brian couldn't cook. I nodded before taking a seat across from Matt. Our eyes met for a brief second before I quickly looked away, desperate for some coffee. 

'So the guys and I were thinking of playing some secret shows around the area. Maybe in some dive bars, a bit more intimate than the gigantic halls we've been playing lately' Brian said with excitement. I was excited to see him this happy. The band meant everything to him and he meant everything to me. 

'Sounds amazing. I'll get right to it and see what's possible' I replied with a smile before taking a sip of my much needed coffee. When the door bell rang, everyone cheered again and left me confused. 

'Who's joining us?' I whispered to Matt who gave me a big grin in return.

'Hey River, glad you could make it' Zack exclaimed as Brian walked back in with a handsome, dark-haired man in his early 30s.

'Sher, this is River, our director for the new music video. He has some dope ideas'.

As I eyed him up and down I had a feeling that the peace wasn't going to last for long. He sat down and right away he went into detail about how he envisioned A7X's new music video. 

'And then you Brian will be surrounded by all these hot babes. I'll make sure we will have lots of pyrotechnics. It will definitely get hot and heavy' he explained eagerly. Brian uncomfortably shifted in his seat while I remained silent. 

'What just happened?' River asked as the room had grown scarily quiet. 

'It's fine' Brian muttered.

'Did I step into something? Do you have a girlfriend or something?' 

'Yeah or something' I chimed in. I felt compelled to leave as I knew we would only start an argument over this. As an outsider you probably think I was immature for getting upset over something so ludicrous, but we had just entered a place where we were comfortable being together. I just couldn't take fighting for him over and over again. I shouldn't have to.

'Well if it comforts you, love, he won't make out with them' River said with a forced chuckle which made me despise him even more. I could tell he wanted me out of the way, so he could do his video as he pleased without considering me. Of course I didn't want to compromise their artistic creativity, but I wasn't sure if hot babes all over Brian had to be a part of that.

'Right. Pleasure to meet you Ryan. I'll better organise some shows for next week then' I replied quickly.

'It's River' he replied sharply, but I could not care less as I walked out the room. 

After being on the phone for hours, trying to put together a small tour, scheduling several venues for next week, I welcomed the hot drink Brian brought me.

'So, we're good?' Brian asked carefully.

'Why wouldn't we be?' I asked innocently. In the last past hour I had tried to battle my insecurities. They were responsible for a lot of drama and I realized all this drama was not worth it if it meant losing Brian.

'You look gorgeous. I'm a lucky guy' he mumbled as he came closer and kissed me roughly. 

'Erm- sorry to interrupt. Just wanted to say I'm heading home' Matt's voice echoed through the room. 

I tried to catch my breath, fixing my hair as Matt's gaze kept lingering on me.

'Kay, bro. I'll see you later'.

It was hard to tell what I felt when I saw Matt standing in the doorway. He was the kind of man my mother would want to see me with. Kind, generous, loving. I hated that I was going after the same type of man since I had been 16: Selfish, destructive, unfaithful. Brian made me feel alive, because he caused me emotional pain and so had all my previous boyfriends. Matt gave me a sly smile before walking off and I couldn't help, but feel a sense of loss. Matt was that glimmer of hope that maybe one day I would come to my senses and choose the nice guy over the bad guy. But I just wasn't ready to give up my bad habit, my bad boy, Brian.

When Brian's cold hands travelled up my robe, I shivered under his gentle touch.