VALERIE

Chapter 33: Lovestrucked

NOTE: Half a Man at Best (Sequel to VALERIE) has a sad beginning. But VALERIE is going to have a happy ending so don’t cry. Please join me in counting down the remaining eight chapters (including this one) before we reach the epilogue.

Copyright © zylgnagnaba 2013

“I’m a terrible person, Harry.” I say through a semi-sobbing fit. Harry has me seated sideway on his lap while he clutches my waist against him. My arms are wrapped around his neck, head latched over his shoulder, my tears flowing down dampening his white shirt.

“Shhh,” He coos, rocking me on his lap. Somehow the action finds its way to comfort me, even just a bit. “You’re not a terrible person, baby. You just didn’t know what you were doing.” He gently shrugs his shoulder so I can return my head back up and look at him in the eyes. “We all do stupid things when we’re young.” There is remorse that lays behind the small smile in his face, but at the same time the urgency to cheer me up. I reciprocated him a weak one for his attempt to make me feel better though the pain is still there. It’s still there all this time.

“But what I did was unforgiveable. I don’t think I could ever forget about all those things I did to my brother. The old Gail kept on haunting me.” I tell him, my voice trembling as I speak. My chest heaves up as slight sniffles escape my lips, finally deciding to control myself from crying.

The atmosphere is somehow saturated with sorrow and guilt but I’m glad that Harry is here to clear the air and make it lighter. I’m thankful to have him in my life—the one that I’ve been working on to rebuild without looking back to the past by making new memories, and most of all, by making up stories about my past to white out the truth.

But then, I came to realize that whiting out the truth would only make everything worse. The lies would punish me for the rest of my life, just like how it has always been for almost two years being away from the life I’ve been accustomed to.

Worse thing, I wasn’t just lying to myself until now. I lied to Harry too, the person that matters most to me right now. Guilt keeps on weighing on me when images of Eleanor, Louis, Niall, Liam, Perrie, Zayn, Sophia, and Walt flash before my eyes. I lied to them too.

“Just know that no matter what, it doesn’t change the way I look at you. I still love you despite that. I don’t care about your past.” Harry’s words are enough for me to feel relieved as of the moment and discard my last thoughts. He’s all that matters to me right now.

My rocking motion on his lap weakens when he started wiping the tears away from my face with the tender touches of his fingers. He again pulls me even closer against him and I slowly close my eyes as he leans the side of my head closer for him to kiss my cheek.

My eyes dart to the motion of my fingers that are entertained by playing with Harry’s brunette curls, combing them before rolling them around between my two fingers.  “Did you know that I haven’t loved any guy before you?” I ask him before meeting his eyes again. A smile slowly appears on my face as he smiles brightly at my statement.

“Seriously?” He enthused, grinning like an idiot and I nod rather excessively to make a point. His teeth now showing as he grins a little more, his eyes glistening along with the bleeding light from the ceiling of our suite.

The sight lured me in and I feel the sudden urge to kiss him silly. And that's what I did.

“How about Jules?” His eyes narrow before me when he asks a matter of five seconds later after we pull away. I couldn’t even hide how I am taken aback with his out-of-the-blue question.

It’s just so sudden, rendering me speechless and stare at his handsomeness for at least a while until he playfully waves his hand right in front of my face. His lips are puckered as he glued his eyes at me, granting my silence a quizzical look.