Welcome to the Pride Parade [Frerard AU]

Part III: Chapter 10

          

CHAPTER 10 – MR. DARKSIDE

A/N: This chapter talks about abuse, but nothing graphic!

I felt like I'd been ignoring my art all month.

Despite it being summer break, I'd been guiltily avoiding my sketchbook like it was some kind of chore. As much as I wanted to draw, and enjoyed the idea of drawing, my motivation was drained. Today, though, I really wanted to get at least something done.

So I sat in my room, telling myself all I had to do was open the sketchbook and sit with it for an hour, and then most of the work would be done. But I couldn't even bring myself to do that.

I thought about all of my unfinished works sitting in that book – the two skeletons, the hand-hearts, the cat, the girl – but none of them were far enough along that I could be eager to finish them in one sitting. Progress was progress, yes, but starting was half the battle.

I'll do it. Just for five minutes. If I'm still not into it after that much time, I'll stop.

I set a timer on my phone for five minutes, just to get myself started and lie to myself enough to think I'd actually want to stop later, too. Once I started something, there was no way I'd stop doing whatever it was until it was done, for the most part. If I could work as long as five minutes, nothing would be able to stop me from continuing.

Right as I had my pencil in my hand, ready to begin, a notification popped up to block my finger from the Start button.

Okay, I'd check this first. Then I'd really start working on one.

From Frank Iero: Have a minute to talk about something?

I suddenly wondered what was wrong. Lately it seemed like the majority of our conversations were We Need To Talks, and I wasn't sure how much I liked that. All the same, it was hard to fault him for using me as a resource for when he needed help. The truth of the matter was, I needed him just as much as he needed me.

From Gerard Way: Give me a minute; I'll call you.

From Frank Iero: Okay. No rush.

It wasn't urgent, which was a relief in a way. No need to excessively worry about him.

I saved my work and closed my computer without shutting it down, hoping to return to it before the night was over. It wasn't so late that I feared I'd have to restart procrastinating. It had taken me this long to begin; why should I have to stop now?

I supposed there were more important things in life than this one little thing. My five minutes of productivity could be procrastinated a bit longer. Right?

In another two minutes, I pressed the Call button. It rang twice before Frank picked up.

"Hey! Did I interrupt anything?"

"Nah, just... finishing up a drawing. Only took a second. What's up?" I asked.

"Oh, dang, I forgot about that. Well anyway... I'm just worried about Ray. Have you noticed the way he's been acting?"

I thought about it. "Nothing has really seemed out of the ordinary to me. What do you mean?"

"Just... I don't know. It's like he's really changed since when I first met him. I know you've known him a lot longer than I have, so if he was acting differently than usual, you would probably know better than I would."

This was a valid point, although I couldn't say I fully understood what he was insinuating. When Frank had been showing plenty of signs of wanting to die last year, I hadn't caught on until it was much too late, and the fact was, I was only lucky that he had survived to be talking to me right now. The memory of Frank's glassy eyes as he collapsed across the room flashed through my mind. I repressed the memory, focusing hard on the sound of the static waiting for my response sizzling in my ear.