Welcome to the Pride Parade [Frerard AU]

Part III: Chapter 15

A/N: I was too distracted by the solar eclipse to remember to post but hey it's 12:02am on Tuesday so I'm not THAT late
Anyhow, if you saw the eclipse, what did you think?? Comment please I want to talk about it

CHAPTER 15 – IT'S TIME

A day passed. Then two. Then three. Every day, Frank called me to tell me he genuinely tried to move the note from the desk he'd left it on, but every day he couldn't find the strength to physically reach a hand toward it.

"It may as well be a snake with the way I avoid it," he'd told me. "I want to move it to where it can be seen and read and serve its purpose, but it's like my body is trying to preserve itself by staying away from it, even if I know I shouldn't. The longer I put it off, the more panicked I get that somehow they're finding out before I even get a chance. Every day that goes by is another day that they could come across something I don't want them to."

"Try not to panic. The fear is real, I get it, but you're doing everything you can. Eventually you'll find the energy to do it, I guarantee you." Even though a part of me wasn't so sure, someone had to be the optimist.

"You can't guarantee anything. I just... I just wish I knew what is physically stopping me. I kind of wonder if maybe this is a sign from God that I shouldn't say anything. What do you think?"

"I think that's between you and Him. Do what you think is right. I'm not going to pressure you into or out of anything."

I didn't tell Ray any of this when he came over for croquet on Monday, although I wanted to. Ray had enough parental trouble on his hands as it was. I didn't want to accidentally add to that by sounding like I was comparing households.

"How are things?" I asked when he took the first crack at a croquet ball.

"They've gotten better, actually. It's like a lull right now: they're not mean, but they're not angels. Still, no incidents since... since last time."

"Are you sure you don't need anything?"

"I appreciate it, really I do, but if my parents thought I was trying to run away from them before I graduated, they'd get worse. Trust me on this one. I'm just appreciating the current moment."

"Okay. Just let me know if anything changes. At all. I'm here for you, my dude."

He smiled appreciatively, and we returned to the game on an entirely different subject. "I'm resigning from my job next Friday."

"You are?" I stared at him, confused. "I thought you liked working there."

"I did," he shrugged. "Life is going to get busier once school starts, though. And I got back in contact with Christa, and, well, I told her everything. I wasn't really expecting to, but we started talking and eventually it was relevant to the conversation. So, we're back together."

"That's awesome! But what does that have to do with your job, exactly?"

"See, she works for this news site that is looking for new hires all the time. I'm going to be busy with school, but she said she can ask her boss about hiring me. English was always my best subject."

"It certainly wasn't Chemistry."

"Anyway, if we start working together, my parents never have to know we're dating again. They don't even have to know I'm anywhere but at a work meeting at any given point in time." He smiled smugly.

"Wow. Well thought out," I commended him. "You really don't think your folks will ever come around about her?"

"Like you keep saying, I'm an adult. They don't have any control over me. So in reality, no, they might not, but it doesn't really matter what they think, does it? Just as long as I'm happy, that's all I really want."

As we were putting things away, he asked about my love life, hoping to live vicariously through it, as he did.

"Frank's been a bit distant lately," I said, knowing it was true and not wanting to lie. "He's going through something right now, so I understand."

"It's good of you to stay with him even despite that," Ray said. "A lot of people, it seems like, get into relationships expecting undivided attention and unconditional love. But sometimes you just need some space, you know?"

"Yeah. I definitely do."

Ray made it sound like sticking by someone while they were going through one of those conflicts was a surprise, or not expected of me. Was that not love? Was that not friendship? It nearly broke my heart to think about how many people really stopped loving their partners – even abandoning their friends – as soon as they couldn't provide everything for them anymore. How insensitive it seemed. How selfish.

There was nothing wrong with a bit of distance, or circumstances where neither person can deal with the other's problems alongside them. Maybe I had to count myself lucky that I was capable of staying with Frank, through all of the support we had to give each other.