10 || Kellic

5.

Age: 19

Location: Kellin's bed

Not like that, jeez...

It had only been a week since Kellin found out the truth about Justin. I had been thinking about if I should tell him that I knew before he told me but I've decided I don't need to do so. He might read it completely differently and think that I was hiding it from him for a long time, while I only hid it for an hour. It won't help Kellin feel any better so therefore I have decided that there's no need to tell him. In the moment I want to do everything I can to make Kellin feel better, not worse.

A big plus from my side about how it ended between Kellin and Justin is his neediness. Don't get me wrong, I hate seeing my best friend upset obviously, but something good came out of it. Kellin had asked me the first three nights if I could sleep with him in his bed which I had obviously agreed on.

The fourth night he didn't ask me to do so and therefore I crawled into my own bed, thinking Kellin wanted some more privacy. That ended up with him throwing a pillow at me and whining about how I'm supposed to sleep in his bed and comfort him.

He was being a whiny little shit from time to time the past week. But I'm in love with the whiny little shit so I can't bring myself to be bothered by it even if I try. Kellin was vulnerable and I don't want to say that I'm using that but I guess I am a little bit. He's been letting me spoil him with affection this last week, never questioning it.

He's practically been acting as if we're dating to be honest. Wanting me to sleep in the same bed as him, sitting in my lap all the time, cuddling with me. I didn't mind it one bit, I took the opportunity to be this close to Kellin. When he starts getting over Justin he'll probably become less clingy so I'm going to enjoy the moment for as long as I can.

Currently we're in his bed. Not sexually though, unfortunately. We are both on our sides with me spooning Kellin from behind. I don't know for sure if he's asleep yet or not so therefore I don't dare to move. He's been wiggling around a bit for a while but finally stopped doing so which I think means he's about to fall asleep.

Though his wiggling has gotten me into a situation where I need to scoot away from him a bit, just so that he won't feel me getting harder by the second and pressing against his butt. When I'm convinced that Kellin is asleep I scoot away from him a bit, letting out a sigh of relief once there's not as much pressure down there. Though I get stopped mid-sigh as I hear Kellin letting out a sniffle.

"Kels? Are you awake?"

"No.."

"I'm not that stupid"

I practically crawl over Kellin so that I can see his face, seeing that just like I thought he's crying. I roll off of him again and instead I pull Kellin on top of me, hugging his body close to my own. He lets down his guard and starts bawling into my chest. Since I'm shirtless I can clearly feel the wetness on my chest as his tears hit it.

"What's wrong Kels?" I ask him, moving my hand over his head, practically petting him.

"Nothing, I just can't stop thinking about Justin.. I can't get the image out of my head of when I found him with Jack. At first they didn't even stop when I entered the room since they were so caught up in the moment. I just feel so stupid you know, I should have understood. I should have fucking understood that he would get tired of waiting and sleep with someone else. I just feel stupid, so fucking stupid and so fucking used by him and it really, it really just sucks.." He rants, his tone raising as he speaks until it's quiet in the end.

I hate this. I hate how Kellin keeps blaming himself for what happened, thinking that it's his own fault when it isn't. I can't be mad at him for thinking so, I can only feel bad for him, which I do.