Cross Fire (Book #2) GirlXGirl

Two

       

When my eyes opened, they spotted to the clock on the nightstand next to the bed. It was late in evening and my body was tangled in the bed sheets. I was sure a nightmare had spoiled my sleep because the pounding in my heart was frightening. Then I heard a light knock coming from the door. Who on earth would be looking for me right now?

I pulled myself up and out of bed and yawned. A blanket of sleep was still draped over my shoulders, but when I opened the door I was on high alert.

"Hey," Melissa greeted. "I brought you a change of clothes and something to eat."

"I don't need anything from you." My hand moved to close the door but her foot prevented it from doing so.

"Alexa, please," she begged.

Then the discussion with Chapman earlier resurfaced.

I would've done everything in my ability to save Anna, but there were better and more efficient ways to do so. There was no excuse to betray your friends. We would've helped her. We could've figured out a way to find her father without risking our lives. But she had been scared, something Melissa herself had admitted to me.

Before I could protest she squeezed through the door with a to-go container of food that smelt divine and a small overnight bag. And after months of prison meals, the smell of fresh made my stomach clench in hunger. I watched her set everything on the table.

After, she faced me. Those wide eyes I used to find hope in no longer appealed to me. Even after Chapman explained most of her story and motives, my brain was still clouded with emotion. The pain of that night was still like an open wound that bled every time I had to be around her.

It hurt, and I had a gut-wrenching feeling it was due to more than just her betraying me and my friends. I just couldn't allow my heart to have a say so.

"I know Chapman probably told you most of the story, but I need you to know-"

"How could you?" I whispered desperately.

Her eyes fell to the floor. Shame was laced in every movement she made as her arms crossed upon her chest. The anger was still strong, but I was coming to terms with other emotions I hadn't expected to linger after two months.

"I made a mistake." Her voice trembled.

The sight managed to make my heart heavy, and just the thought of still caring made bile rise in my throat. Never in my life had I been faced with such a challenge.

My emotions were split right down the middle as I tried to find the will to pick a side. Forgiving her seemed impossible, but in my heart I knew why she had done it. Time had given me the unfortunate opportunity to understand perspective, but that didn't guarantee I would ever forgive her.

I noticed she couldn't manage anymore words, so I continued.

"That's not a good enough excuse," I stated.

"It's not an excuse," she forced. "Alexa, you have every right to hate me, but please don't believe that for one minute this is something I won't regret for the rest of my life."

I couldn't look at her. My eyes focused in on the wall behind her, as if she wasn't standing right in front of me. As if two months ago there hadn't been any attraction towards her.

On one hand, I had nothing to say. But on the other there were so many things I wanted her to hear come out of my mouth. I wanted to curse her, to hurt her, emotionally and physically, but exhaustion was preventing me from doing so.

She went to move in closer but I held up my hand, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. I may have been allowing her to step foot in my room, but that didn't mean I wanted her anywhere near me.