Ten

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I wanted to believe that I had done everything possible for Chapman to find something on Diaz. I wanted to believe I had won the battle, and that Chapman would inevitably win the war by doing his part, but I was afraid I was wrong.

Five days had passed after I had snapped the picture and sent it over to him. Five days with no word of anything. I had passed the point of remaining hopeful and was now settling in the new emotion of defeat. Maybe this had all been for nothing.

I was sitting in my dorm flipping through a text book when I heard a knock. Just the sound of it managed to annoy me. Melissa hadn't lied when she said the withdrawal was a bitch.

"Come in," I answered.

I watched the door slowly open and Melissa stuck her head inside.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Bad."

She slowly crept inside. "Wanna elaborate?"

"Not really."

I could tell she had gone back for another fix. She was most likely going to use till she left this place for good. I didn't blame her. It was hard not going back for another. I had only received one and it felt like the blood in my veins was as thick as syrup. My limbs were heavy and ached like I had been run over by a truck. And every little thing was managing to annoy me.

"The fifth day always seems to be the hardest," she advised. "At least physically. After today it's all about your mental."

"Fantastic," I jabbed.

She stood in front of me. "You should be fine. You're hard headed."

I rolled my eyes. "Why are you here?"

She allowed my remark to get to her as she sat on Paige's bed. Her eyes were on my shower bag. She was curious about Chapman. Too bad I couldn't give her any good news.

"Have you heard back from him...?" she wondered.

"No," I responded. "So I might as well be suffering for nothing."

She tilted her head. "Don't think like that."

"You'd be thinking the same thing if you hadn't juiced up again."

She bit her lip and I was sure it was because she had a mouthful for me. Yet, she held back. I wouldn't blame her if she went off. I probably deserved it. I knew I was being an asshole but I just couldn't help it.

"Are you going to dinner?" she wondered.

"I'm not hungry," I denied.

She shook her head. "Hiding away like this won't make you feel better."

"I spent all day like this, Melissa," I stated. "I'm not hiding. I'm exhausted."

"Food helps."

"I don't want your help!" I blurted.

Crap. I hadn't meant for that to happen.

She stood from the bed and just watched me. God, I wanted her to leave... but not leave at the same time. And now I felt too bad to even look her in the eye.

"Fine," she finished. "I'll go."

I watched her head for the door while guilt wrapped around my throat. I hadn't meant to lash out, but for some reason I couldn't say sorry.

She hesitated at the door but left without another word.

I was still confused as to why she had even stopped by. I guess she knew it was about that time where I would be feeling the after effects. Not to mention how off I was the past two days. She saw me too often to not notice when there was something wrong.

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