Dare To Believe

Chapter 4

Jason had no idea why he approved the Ilocos trip for Christmas break with a practical stranger. He was too afraid to have people near him, but he found that Andrew was a little bit of an exception because of their conversations three days ago.

Maybe he just thought that considering him as a travel buddy was a bit flattering. No one dared to ask Jason to let him join gatherings, or even simple picnic. He was a socially awkward person and people was afraid that he might just ruin the trip.

Besides, he really wouldn't want to have himself exposed to people, to small talks, to deep conversations... to vulnerability.

Andrew fulfilled his promise that he will be the one to fetch Jason on the apartment he was staying.

Jason was busy packing his things when someone started pounding at his door, he was sure that it was Andrew. He immediately got up from the couch where his back was resting and grabbed his backpack on straps then clung it around his shoulders. He pulled down his sleeves to hide his scars, then  walked outside his house.

He was greeted by Andrew' bubbly smile, "good morning Jason."

"Good morning, too," Jason mumbled, just enough for Andrew to hear his voice. The lights outside his apartment were not that bright which caused him to have difficulties in seeing things.

Andrew noticed his uneasiness, "are you alright, Jason?" His voice laced with concern and worry.

"Yes" Jason said, but Andrew didn't seem to believe for he was tripped in a piece of wood that was lying on the floor. But Jason insisted that he was okay, "I'm fine, its just..." he stopped midway, telling other people about his condition was not an option for me. "... I'm a little sleepy" he lied.

He breathed a sigh when he saw Andrew nodded in belief. At least that latter believed him and he was safe from humiliation. He knew he was just overthinking that Andrew might get disappointed because of his disability. Well, he cannot avoid that. Since he was a child, people would make fun of him because of his condition. And it was not okay for Jason, being judge and being the laughing stock is not a good thing.

They safely reached Andrew car. The latter insisted ho help him walk by holding his arm. He muttered a silent thank you because of that. He could never walk in dim lights because his eyes can't see that much.

When the door of the car was closed with a thud it was his time to loosen up. He had been nervous since he agreed for the trip. He released the tension on his body, he had nothing to worry about. He will have a place to stay at and food to eat there. He already entrusted Roxy to one of his neighbors. It wasn't that much for Roxy is a good girl.

Andrew and he was seated at the backseat, Andrew brought a driver with him, and he told him that it was his family driver. Andrew admitted that he can only do short-drives, but Manila from Ilocos takes more than twelve hours on land so he said that he wouldn't be the one to drive.

"You should go get some sleep, Jason" Andrew insisted, then reached for his eyeglass then placed it on the dashboard in front of the passenger's seat.

Jason cringed at Andrew touch, he was uncomfortable with the physical contact from the other people. And another thing is his eyeglass are like a comfort zone for him, without that he cannot see anything at all. Just shadows and darkness...

"O-okay, just make sure my eyeglasses are safe," he reminds Andrew.

He let out a chuckle "of course, you silly. Come on go to sleep."

Jason nodded, then rested his head on the window. He was about to close his eyes when he felt Andrew hand on his head, pulling it closer to the latter's body. He looked up and saw a smile at Andrew's lips before his head was placed on top of his right shoulder.

"There, so that you would be comfortable," he said.

"Thank you" though unsure of their position, Jason said. The only one who had come close to him like this way was Roxy. On a normal situation, Jason should be cringing that time for he was too close to another person, but it was difficult.

The ragged breathing of Andrew, his humming once in a while, the warmth of his body; he found that comforting. He closed his eyes, then slowly he dozed off.

Jason was running around in a circle, it was like a scene from a dystopian science fiction movie. He was just running with nowhere to go. He looked at the surrounding and found nothing, the walls were of plain color white and when he looked up he saw his own reflection.

Jason breathing became ragged as he started to feel his legs hurting from all the running that he was doing.

He felt that everything was shaking, a quake, perhaps? He kneeled down, ducked and covered his head. He started to feel his eyes watering, he was too afraid to pretend that he was brave.

"Jason?"

He forcefully opened his eyes and saw Andrew face in front of him.

"Are you alright?" You were having a nightmare... then you're crying," Andrew said, worry written all over his face.

" Im fine," he dismissing said, he was really okay. It was not the first time he had a nightmare. There were peaceful sleeps, but there were restless ones as well. And every nightmare he had, it was all about no escape. He was used to those, he grew up with episodes of bad dreams at night.

Andrew eye him with disbelief. Jason, too, cannot believe that he was okay. He can still feel the racing of his heartbeat and the shivering sensation all over his body.

He looked at his side he saw the sunrise from the east, it was already morning.

"For how long were we traveling since we left home?" Jason asked Andrew.

Even though he was still waiting for a confirmation that he is really good, he answered, "probably around four to five hours, we were both asleep you know." He reached for his head again and rested it on his shoulder like their position earlier," I was just aware because I felt you were shaking. I was worried, Jason"

Jason's heart melted at his words. He was perfectly aware that everything was just ephemeral. After the Ilocos trip, he and Andrew will go their separate ways, they will be back to what they were before.

Even though Jason was aware of that, he told himself that he would just enjoy their trip. Crape diem, as they say.