His eyes were fixed on the lovely scenery in front of him. He wanted to go out and feel the ocean from his feet, but he was scared. Scared that he might drown again like the last time he went into the ocean.
"Oh come on, Jason" just get outside. "You won't swim," he muttered to himself. It was more of a command rather than an encouragement for himself..
He dragged himself outside the cabin they were staying at. He even heard the sound of the television from Andrew's room, meaning he was inside it.
Jason silently opened the front door and went outside. He was greeted with the touch of the cold wind of his face. He walk barefooted, feeling the sand on the sole of his feet.
He sometimes compare himself with the sand, of how little he can be, of how useless he is. One time, he even thought that it was a shame for the sand to be compared with someone who has no purpose in this world.
It was really dark and it was only the moonlight that was illuminating the place. he found it hard to see again so he just sat down on the sand. His feet were being reached by the waves crashing the shore.
He looked up and saw the stars, how they twinkle and how their light shines. He felt envois of these stars, how come they get to be so wonderfully created and yet he saw... just Jason?
''I wish I can be the stars,'' he muttered selflessly.
''you won't want to be one of those stars,'' someone said.
He turned his head sideways and saw Andrew, he was sauntering towards his direction with a smile on his lips. just like how Jason got a chance to have a real conversation with him.
''Don't be one of the stars Jason,'' he said, the smile on his lips still showing.
''Why not?'' he asked out of confusion.
Andrew heaved a sigh, ''stars are liars, Jason''
Jason had his forehead creased when he heard what Andrew said. He was wondering whether the latter was joking or is he was really serious.
Based on his facial expression, Jason concluded that he was really serious. ''Stars cant lie,'' he said.
Andrew shrugged, ''they do,'' he glanced at him, ''every single star lies, so don't wish to be like them.''
if not for the sound of rolling waves on the shore, they will be engulfed in total silence.
Jason sighed, ''I think it'll be amazing to be a star,'' he muttered.
He felt Andrew moving closer to him and he felt uneasy. He was really feeling shy about what happened in the drowning scene which was greatly involved at.
''Why do you think its amazing to be a star, Jason?'' he asked him, head facing upward, eyes fixed on the stars.
Jason looked the stars as well, ''I don't know, because they're all shining and shimmering, perhaps? he said. It was the truth, he envies the stars for they shine. unlike him who's been a slave of darkness for quite some time now.
''what you want to be shiny as well?'' Andrew remarked, and Jason noticed the tinge of sarcasm in his remark.
he frowned, still looking at the sky, both of them were.
''I want to be as bright as the stars,'' he said, ''To serve as a guide for travelers when they're lost.''
Andrew didn't replay, as if he was still waiting for him to continue on what he was saying.
''But I cant,'' he breathed out.
''Why?''
''All my life, I wanted to be a guide for people. But how can I be what I want to be?'' he asked, it was more of a question for himself than a question for Andrew. ''I cant even guide my self.''
Jason felt his eyes getting heavy, tears were about to fall from them when he felt Andrew warm body on his. It took a moment to realize what was happening. He was trapped in his embrace.
''sometimes you need direction yourself as well,'' Andrew comforted him. Usually, when people would go on comforting him with words, they would be all meaningless for him. But when it is from Andrew, he actually wanted to believe because he feels the sincerity in everything that he says.
believe.
