Perspective [Zarry]

052

It was as if Harry's mind was nothing but a fog as Zack's lips moved against his own.

He didn't truly acknowledge that Zack was kissing him until his phone broke the silence, making him quickly snap out of it, pushing Zack away with a glare.

Harry picked up his phone, answering it.

"H-Hello?"

"Harry?"

The sound of Zayn's voice pierced through Harry like an arrow.

"Zayn, I-I'm sorry." He suddenly sobbed, feeling so guilty on top of everything else.

"No, no please don't cry. I'm sorry for not talking to you I'm-I'm just sorry for all of this shit. Where are you?" Zayn asked.

Harry swallowed. "M-My apartment." He lied.

"I'm on my way." Zayn said, hanging up.

"I have to go." Harry said, getting up.

"Harry I'm sorry, okay? Can we just...pretend that never happened?" Zack asked.

"Sure, whatever." Harry mumbled, quickly leaving.

He felt like he was going to be sick as he sped home.

When inside his apartment, he tried his best to calm down, pulling his curls back into a bun and washing his face.

He looked at his reflection as he dried his face, still feeling like he was going to throw up because of his nerves.

Harry almost flinched out of his skin as he heard loud knocking at the door.

He gulped, leaving the bathroom and going to the front door.

Harry opened it, feeling faint as Zayn stepped in and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry." Zayn said as Harry buried his face in Zayn's neck.

He breathed in Zayn's scent, already feeling much better than before now that he was in Zayn's arms.

He clung to Zayn like his life depended on it, trying not to cry anymore.

"I'm sorry too." Harry said.

Zayn smiled, hugging him even tighter.

"I want to...explain why I did what I did." Zayn said bravely, letting him go.

Harry shook his head, fighting back tears.

"I need to tell you something first."

Zayn frowned. "What is it?"

"I was over at Zack's earlier today. I took him home. We-We were talking and I was upset about what happened with us and he was comforting me I guess, and he kissed me." Harry said, avoiding Zayn's eyes.

Zayn blinked twice. "He what?"

"I didn't kiss him back, I promise. I'm so sorry Zayn, it was an accident. I didn't want it. I didn't want him. All I've wanted since you walked out was you. Your touch, your kisses, just you. I've been miserable without you and it's only been two days." Harry cried.

"I- wait so he kissed you? Like...knowing all of this was going on? He just kissed you?" Zayn asked, reminding himself that now wasn't the time to get angry.

Harry nodded, shaking now.

"I'm s-sorry."

"Harry," Zayn said softly, gently taking him into his arms again so he'd calm down.

"You don't have to apologize. He was the one who did it." Zayn said.

"I still feel so guilty!"

"Hey, hey," Zayn said softly, pulling him closer and kissing his forehead.

"Calm down, it's okay. This is all my fault."

"No it isn't. T-Tell me what I did to make you upset on Saturday." Harry said, moving back enough to see into Zayn's eyes.

"You...you were pressuring me to have sex. But that's not why I left." Zayn said.

"I was pressuring you?" Harry frowned.

Zayn nodded, biting his lip.

"Oh God, Zayn, I didn't mean to. Please believe me I would never do anything like that on purpose. If I ever do anything like that again tell me. Please." Harry begged.

"I will." Zayn said quietly, feeling a little better.

"So w-why'd you leave?" Harry dared to ask.

Zayn swallowed, holding Harry by his sides and looking at his chest.

"You remember how I told you that...my last relationship was mainly about sex?"

Harry nodded.

"Well it kind of messed me up. He-He used me for sex, and I let him do it. I knew he was just using me but I let him and I hated every second. I couldn't speak up and tell him no. I was never....he took my virginity, everything was so new to me, I thought it meant something. When I realized it didn't it really fucked with my head but I kept it bottled up. Sex is....a really serious thing for me, okay? I'm scared that it'll ruin us somehow." Zayn admitted.

"I'm attracted to you more than anything, but I'm just...afraid. He was always the one who was on top when we did it and I know t-that you know what you like and I don't know if I can do that for you. There's just so much in the way and on my mind...so many confusing feelings that won't leave me alone and so much anxiety. So....I just tried my best to avoid it, I guess."

"I'm sorry for making such a big deal out of this and I-I know you think I'm probably crazy or overreacting but that's kind of what I do. My mind is so screwed up Harry, and it's fucking things up between us. I know it is. I'm sorry." Zayn said, tears in his eyes now.

"Zayn..." Harry trailed off, slowly beginning to shake his head.

"Nothing about you is fucked up. I've told you so many times you're perfect to me. I don't think you're crazy or overreacting. I understand your feelings and I can't express how sorry I am for everything that's happened. Everything I've said, and how I pressured you." Harry said.

"I'm perfectly fine with waiting until you're ready. I'm fine with going slow, and helping you through it. I know it'll be beautiful. I promise it won't ruin us."

Zayn smiled a little, getting lost in those eyes.

"I mean it. Can we just....put all of this behind us now?" Harry asked with a sigh.

Zayn nodded. "That sounds great. I want to go back to the way it was when we first got together but with the closeness of now. Coffee dates and staying up all night talking, but also making out and cuddling with little to no clothes on."

Harry smiled, blushing. "I'd love that."

Zayn smiled back, kissing him gently.

"I'm sorry again for just leaving. I promise I'll never do that again." He whispered.

Harry smiled, pulling him close.

"I won't let you."

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A/N: Sooooooo many comments in the last chapter, I love it :)
Question: What should Zayn do about Zack?
- Zaydrian