TEMPTATION. [✔]

XX

({ I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory. When’s it gonna get me?In my sleep? Seven feet ahead of me? If I see it comin’, do I run or do I let it be? Is it like a beat without a melody? })

My eyes opened, a bright light shining in my eyes. I squinted, getting used to it, only to suddenly remember what had happened.

Jungkook.

Where is he?

Sitting up, I noticed I was in a hospital room. I had no idea how I got there since I passed out, but all I could think about was whether Jungkook was OK.

A nurse walked in. When she saw I was awake and smiled, starting a conversation.

"How'd ya feel, love?"

Her voice had a heavy northern accent, but I replied with a shrug.

"You wanna know something? The guy that was holding ya hostage -- Jeon Jungkook -- he was shot! Ain't that good news!"

Those words seemed to pierce a hole in my chest, and I whimpered.

"You OK?"

"I'm fine. Can you please leave?"

"I'll give ya some time to think."

"Thanks."

The moment the door closed I burst into tears. He was gone. Shot down.

And then it hit me.

He sacrificed himself to save me.

I felt fine. A bit achy, but fine. Physically, that is. Mentally I was a wreck.

All I could concentrate on was an image of Jungkook being shot. It was tormenting me, repeating again and again with no thought of stopping. I was crying like a baby.

Those tears slid down my face and onto the knife clutched in my hands. It was a small knife probably used for surgery. It was sharp too.

Sharp enough to cut through skin and bone with a this amount of power behind it.

A pen and paper was easy to get a hold of since the nurse had left a notebook in the room, so I bergen scribbling away. Tears stained the paper. I'd briefly put the knife down to write. Memories flashed through my mind as I did so, only causing more to droplets falling onto the paper.

I can't do this anymore. Jungkook may have committed heinous crimes -- and should have been punished for those crimes -- but did not deserve death. He knew he'd done wrong, that he'd sinned. He wanted to right his mistakes and heal the wounds he'd caused. You didn't give him a chance.

He didn't hurt me, not once. He protected me from the real danger and cared, unlike some people.

If those that want redemption are punished with death, then there's no reason for me to live any longer. He was my reason.

Before being kidnapped by him, I'd never spoke to him. When we did speak, I wasn't scared. I was suicidal. I wanted to die at his hand. At least then I would get on the news. But he saw that I was not fearful, and pitied me. He was the same.

We both have eachother a reason to breathe.

I owe everything to him, and you killed him.

Now all I can do is join him.

I signed the paper quickly, my sight blurred by tears. The knife was already in my hand as I put it down beside me.

Even breaths. Eyes closed.

With him in my mind, I plunged the knife in to my chest.

I pulled out out and repeated the process to speed my death, only crying more as my arms weakened.

Then, I died. The last thing I saw was the door opening. The last thing I thought of was Jungkook. The reason I had had a brief moment of my life with someone I loved.

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When the nurse had told Y/N Jungkook had been shot, not once did she mention him dying.

In fact, he was next-door in recovery when she stabbed herself.

He felt that something was wrong. He knew.

But he could do nothing.