*TRICK'D' UP!*

*FIVE*

Criss was listening to Klayton ramble on for hours about him needing to get a girlfriend...that it was physically unhealthy for a man to go thru life without a female's touch...and Johnny could really use a mother...Criss looked at him, and said he's been doing just fine on his own with his son...then said on the subject of female touches...he could get that any time he wanted it in town...after all, he did live in Sin City...home of the ever lovely 24/7 call girls...Klayton looked back a Criss over his sunglasses without removing them, and with a cheesy ass grin, told him that he was too old for that shit...and needed to tie roots with a lovely woman that would be there for him and Johnny. 

Criss stood up and slapped him on the back of the head, and told him he didn't need an over aged immature shithead like him telling him what he needed to do...and that he wasn't in the mood to go playing 20 questions with different ladies, only to be played by them later...after realizing that they never meant what they said in the first place...and just wanted to get money and publicity out of him...then he'd have to worry about the females being mean or rude to his son behind his back...or his son not liking them...and if Johnny didn't like them...neither was he...no matter how much they made his tongue lag out from their sexy looks. Criss thought about it for a while, then smacked Klayton again...and told him where was his girlfriend at...because he hasn't seen him with a girl in over a year either.

Klayton coughed a little bit, and said he wasn't talking about himself...he was talking about him...and not to change the subject...and that he had a son to think about...and that he didn't...all he had to worry about was the next girl that he was going to bless with his Celldwelling love muscle...Criss was now laughing his ass off at how immature his older friend was...but he loved him anyway...Criss very quickly sucked it up and smacked Klayton again and told him to mind his language that his little man was up...and looking at them thru the glass door. Klayton spun around in the chair to face Johnny and gave him a wave...and a silly grin...Johnny grinned back at him, and tried to reach the door knob...but he was too short...so he tapped on the glass...and pointed to the door.

Klayton stuck his thumbs in his ear and his tongue out...and made silly faces at Johnny because he couldn't get out...but he jumped up and over the table and Criss and landed by the door and slid in on his ass and pretended to be too short to reach the knob from the outside...which made Johnny plop on his butt and squeal with laughter...finally Klayton was laying flat on the patio acting like it was killing him to reach for the door knob...and Criss kicked his boot, and told him to stop horsing around and open the damn door...Klayton lifted his head up at him and stuck his tongue out at him...and said he didn't have to...he was playing...but after Criss gave him that stare...Klayton sat up in an indian style...and opened the door...in a split second Johnny was attacking his uncle Klayton giggling and screeching.

As Criss was watching them rough housing, he kind of decided that Klayton was right, and he did need to find a decent girl to share his and his son's life with...but it was just too difficult to do...especially for him...when it came to relationships he was a total mess...he was always a total shit magnet...the last female he was going steady with...turned out to be a nightmare for his son...her name was Belinda...a very gorgeous Latina Pop Singer...that loved him immensely...but she was a wicked bitch to his son...and the sad thing was that he was too wrapped up in her to realize what she was doing to his son behind his back...until he caught her just once...and that was all it took...Criss grabbed her and hurled her ass out his front door and told her if she ever came around him or his son again...he would kick her ass...after that moment, he was way too leery about getting involved with another female.

Then he brushed it off, knowing that he was going to be too busy for a relationship right now anyway for him and his family/crew was going to be on a state to state RV Magical Caravan for his new traveling show TRICK'D' UP...and didn't want anything to delay it or cause it any problems. Just as Klayton stood up and carried Johnny into the house to make him a peanut butter sandwich...and one for himself as well...Danny Koker gave Criss a call and told him his ride was ready to take a gander at. Criss was overly excited to see his RV...and ran into the house...and told Johnny and Klayton to hurry up with their sandwiches...for they were going to Count's Kustoms to pick up their new home away from home on wheels. 

Johnny clapped his hand's together with half of his sandwich still in his hand...and squealed with delight with peanut butter and grape jelly all over his face and fingers...Criss told Klayton what a perfect uncle he was...not cleaning his nephew up...but when Criss looked up at Klayton and noticed the same mess only more massive on his face...he shut himself up and slowly stood up and grabbed three more wet wipes from the box and cleaned Klayton up too...and said now that they were both clean...they could get in his car...Klayton teased and asked his daddy if he could have a juicebox to go...which made Johnny want one too...Criss looked at Klayton and rolled his eyes at him...and told him what a terrible fucking role model he was, but he opened the fridge and pulled out two juice boxes and handed one to each of them...and added no fighting who gets the front seat either...so Johnny got the front seat and Klayton jumped in back in the booster seat. Criss came out and saw them...and told them to switch...then slapped Klayton on the head and told him to stop being such a bad influence on his son.