Human [A Bill Cipher reader insert]

3

"You're not wearing that." (Name) sighed. She was forcibly taken back to Bill (Stowe)'s house to teach Bill to act like a human. After three hours, (Name) accepted her fate and after five she finally managed to calm down about the situation. She didn't like what was happening, but at least she wasn't freaking out anymore and handled the situation calmly. "Why not? I look snazzy!" Bill beamed, causing (Name) to groan "Because it's too formal!" Bill fiddled with his triangular monicle (god knows why Stowe owned that thing in the first place) and let out a huff. "It's my body now, I can do whatever I wish to do with it!" Bill argued, for some reason wanting to wear that atrocious suit.

"You said you needed my help to act like Stowe, and Stowe would never wear that." (Name) huffed, crossing her arms. Bill forbade her to call Stowe Bill, it was his name after all. "Fine." Bill said gruffly and undressed in front of (Name), making her cover her eyes. "Please, have some courtesy and change in the bathroom!" Bill laughed and walked over to her, removing her hand from her face "Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?" He wiggled his eyebrows and (Name) nodded her head vigorously and pushed Bill towards the bathroom, causing Bill to laugh even harder. She picked out an outfit and threw it into the bathroom and shut the door.

Bill changed in a flash and exited the bathroom with his arms outstretched "How do I look?" he smirked and put a hand on his hip. (Name) gave him a thumbs up and sat down on Stowe's bed.

He was wearing a sweater with three stripes going across in the colours of white, yellow and grey. He wore black pants and black shoes. His white eyepatch was there as always. Bill yawned. Puzzled by the yawn he laughed "What was that?" he grinned "Hm?" (Name) raised an eyebrow, resting her head on her hand. "You know that-" he imitated his yawn "sound.." (Name) couldn't help but chuckle at his ignorance. "It's a yawn. People usually do that when they're tired." She explained. 

(Name) glanced at Stowe's alarm clock and her eyes widened. "Shit.." she stood up and got ready to leave, only to be held back by Bill "Where do you think you're going?" he questioned, his face revealing no emotion at all. (Name) cocked her head slightly to the side before shaking her head and struggled to get out of his grip "I need to go, I have work tomorrow. And so do you!" (Name) tried to explain, but Bill tightened his grip. "You have to help me fall alseep." He stated and (Name) rolled her eyes "All you have to do is close your eyes and keep doing that until you wake up the next morning!" She huffed "I really have to go, Bill!" He let go of her arm and shrugged. "Fine. Where do I work?" he asked and (Name) sighed "At Greasy's Diner as a waiter." then she left Stowe's room and hurried home.

"I can't believe she has no idea that I'm right here.." Stowe muttered in defeat. "Tough luck, Eyepatch." Bill grinned smugly "Anyways, you gotta teach me how to 'waiter'." Stowe scoffed, crossing his arms "As if!" Bill felt annoyance build up in his- Stowe's body "Listen, Eyepatch, if you want your body and girl back, you gotta help me out!" Bill cooed "I mean, this is just temporary! I won't stay in this body forever!" Bill lied. His eye met Stowe's and Stowe sighed. "Fine, but you have to follow my instructions!" Bill nodded his head, making hand gestures mocking that of a mouth speaking "Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna 'sleep' now, so shut up!" Bill laid down in bed. "You can't sleep in those clothes!" Bill huffed, not understanding humans and their odd lifestyles.

*

Morning came and (Name) headed off to work, and so did Bill. "Clean your hands." Stowe demanded, much to Bill's disatisfaction. The moment he got a hang of being human, he would delete Stowe's existence and take over the world with (Name) as his little helper. He washed his hands and when he was greeted by Lazy Susan, he was forced to greet her back. It was exhausting.

"You're gonna get me fired..." Stowe groaned at Bill's attempts to communicate with humans. Bill had to fight the urge to lash out on Stowe and destroy Stowe and his pathetic soul. His eye twitched in anger as he grinned at the person before him. "You should be glad that they're desperate here." Stowe huffed, crossing his arms in disappointment.

(Name) was dusting the shelves of the Mystery Shack's gift shop. "Ohmygosh, hi (Name)!" (Name) turned to see Dipper and Mabel by the entrance. She smiled and waved at the two "Hey!" (Name) replied and walked over to the two, resting her hands on her hips. "What brings you to the Mystery Shack? Stanley and Stanford are both busy at the moment." (Name) informed the twins. "No way.. Dudes, you're back!?" Mabel laughed along with Dipper. "Soos!" Mabel exclaimed, running up to him for a hug. (Name) smiled at the reunion happening before her eyes.

"So you guys are going to live here permanently?" Soos asked, a wide smile on his face as the twins nodded. "You bet your ass we are!" Mabel exclaimed and let out a giggle "We really missed Gravity Falls and everyone here! Even Gideon.. Kind of." Dipper scratched the back of his head and chuckled.

Bill was struggling with the orders and could barely keep up with everything. Being human was harder than he thought, especially when he couldn't just be himself and had to keep up with health and all that lame shit. He burned himself at least thrice and dropped two orders on his feet. He was a danger to himself. After hours of struggling, he somehow managed to get the hang of it without hurting himself badly.

"Hey, when you're off, let's go to Greasy's Diner for lunch." Dipper suggested, and without any second thought, (Name) accepted the offer. After another hour of working and chatting with co-workers and customers, she finally was free to eat lunch.

"Hey, Bill! Would you be a dear and clean the counter?" Susan asked with her usual smile. Bill forced a smile and nodded his head. "The cleaning supplies are in there." Stowe muttered and pointed to a cottage. Bill murmured curses under his breath as he went to get the cleaning supplies.

(Name) entered Greasy's Diner and sat down at her favourite booth along with Dipper and Mabel. Her eyes scanned the diner and she spotted a certain someone by the desk, cleaning. It amused her to see Bill working. Bill looked over at the three and a grin spread across his face as he spotted them. (Name) tried not to look his way, but Mabel quickly caught on and gasped. "(Name)! Is there a boy??" she whisper-yelled and looked back at Bill who was looking their way. "Oh god, he's so handsome" Mabel gripped the table tightly and stared at (Name) "Does he have a brother?" (Name) laughed "Careful, Bill is a heart-breaker." Dipper's eyes widened a fraction at the name Bill.

"He's a bad boy? Even better." Mabel rested her head on her hand. "Well, uh, yeah. A bit more actually. I wouldn't go anywhere near him." (Name) explained, smiling slightly. "He's been acting really weird lately, too." she looked at Bill who waved at her, making her want to vomit in her mouth. Mabel saw and grinned "Oh mama! He totally likes you!!" Dipper sat there uncomfortably. "I know. I'm not interested though." Lazy Susan walked up to the table and grinned at the sight of Dipper an Mabel.

Bill watched (Name) as she ordered her food. She was chatting with... his enemies, but he couldn't do anything about it. For now. He could barely wait for the Pines to pay for what they did to him. He wanted to see their heads on golden plates when he was done with them. "She's beautiful isn't she?" Stowe muttered, his eye set on (Name). Bill huffed and continued to scrub the desk.

"I don't have a good feeling about him." Dipper admitted when Mabel kept gushing over him. "God, Dipper! Just because his name is Bill doesn't mean he's a bad guy!" Mabel laughed, hitting Dipper's shoulder. (Name) raised an eyebrow "What's wrong with the name Bill?" (Name) asked, slightly confused. "We just knew a guy." Mabel smiled "He was kind of a very mean and disgusting, foul, horrible, gruesome bully.." Dipper added, his face growing darker. (Name) decided to let it go and changed the subject.

"Hello, (Name)." an obnoxious voice announced and (Name) looked up at Bill with a forced smile. His grin annoyed her. His everything annoyed her. "Hi, Bill." she replied through gritted teeth. Dipper and Mabel sat silently. "This is Mabel and Dipper, my friends." Bill glanced their direction and smiled, closing his eye. "Pleasure." Bill nearly growled, trying to keep his voice optimistic. "Pleaure is mine." Mabel winked, Dipper simply waved. Bill turned to (Name) "Meet me at my place at six." Bill announced with a grin before bidding his good byes to Dipper and Mabel, somehow managing not to pull their intestines out and using them as decorations for his new home.