Human [A Bill Cipher reader insert]

4

(Name) knocked on Stowe's door. The door opened seconds after and Bill stood in the doorway with a grin on his annoying face. "What do you want?" (Name) huffed as she pushed past the taller male. "Whoah- someone's in a bad mood." Bill teased and laid an arm around (Name)'s shoulder. "Aren't I allowed to want to see my little helper?" Bill poked (Name)'s cheek and laughed his obnoxious laugh. She tried to get out of his grasp but failed. "Listen, I'm gonna quit my job, so I'll move in with you.." (Name) turned to Bill and stared him dead in the eye. "No." she replied and headed for the exit, but was stopped by Bill "You made a deal with me, now keep your end." Bill grinned. "You haven't kept yours." (Name) huffed. Bill then smirked and approached (Name) "What do you want then?" He questioned and (Name) groaned "I want you to stop bothering me." Bill snorted and flicked (Name)'s forehead "As if, doll. I have to bother you for the sake of our deal!"

"I hope you die in a fire." (Name) retorted and Bill raised an eyebrow "Did you like Stowe?" Bill asked and (Name) rolled her eyes. "As a friend. I never had feelings for Stowe, yes I liked him, but in a FRIENDLY way!" Bill smirked evilly. "What a shame, tsk tsk. Poor Stowe. So he never had a chance?" Bill pressed for more questions "Well- If he wasn't an ass, then maybe! He- he always flirted with everyone, do you really think I'd ever want to date someone like that? And what's up with all these dumb questions?" (Name) sat down on a chair, tilting her head slightly. "Oh, just want to know what kind of relationship you had with Eyepatch." Bill leaned onto the wall and (Name) shrugged "Odd, but ok." "That's the beauty with me, doll! I'm wonderfully weird! And I'm a great host for parties." He exclaimed, basking in his ego.

"So; tell me more about you and Eyepatch! Your history and such." Bill took a seat across (Name) and folded his fingers together neatly. "Well, there's not really much to say. He and I were friends. We flirted a little, which was flattering, but I soon figured out he was a player so I pushed him away and we remained friends. I also found out that he could be a huge jerk and that he would always get in trouble." Bill smirked. "Hmm. What would you say to him if he was here right now?" (Name) raised an eyebrow at his question, but answered anyways "I'd probably tell him that I wished things were different. I mean, he was a good guy and I really liked him for a while. But damn, he ended up being a fucking- I don't know- sociopath." Bill leaned back into the chair "Do you miss him?" (Name) sighed "As much as I cared for the guy, I can't say I do... He didn't deserve whatever you did to him, but I'm glad he's not around to patronize me anymore. He confused the shit out of me! Sometimes he'd be fun to be around, and then he'd turn into a complete dickhole!"

What (Name) didn't know, was that Stowe was listening. He heard everything she said and was furious. "Thanks for cooperating, that's all I needed to know. I need your help to move my stuff to your place though." Bill grinned and (Name) laughed "Yeah, no. You're not moving in with me. I forbid it." Bill snorted "Do you really think you can tell me what to do?" (Name) rose from her seat and nodded "Pretty much, yeah. Smell you later, Bill." The demon was a bit shocked. How dared she refuse him? She was his assistant, not the other way around. Before he got the chance to lash out at her for daring to defy him, she shouted "Good bye" and left.

"What the fuck was that!?" Stowe shouted in anger "What do you mean, Eyepatch?" Bill feigned ignorance and skipped to his room to pack his bags. If (Name) wouldn't let him stay at her house, then he would break into her house and make himself at home. "You said you'd make her love me!" Stowe growled, making Bill giggle like a child playing with it's new toy "Hey, I'm sorry, chump! It's not my fault she doesn't like you!" he let out a dorky laugh. "Then do something about it!" Bill pretended to think for a moment, scratching his chin "Hmmm.. How about- NO! Besides, I never said I'd make her love you, but touch your body. There's a difference!" Bill then grinned menacingly "But I'll keep my end of our deal. She'll touch your body for sure, only difference is that I'll be the one possessing it!" Bill's laughter filled the empty air around them and Stowe tried to attack the demon, only to fail miserably. "Don't you dare lay a hand on her!" Bill ignored Stowe and continued to pack his bags.

*

The next morning (Name) went to work as always. "Hey, kid. What's up with your face?" Stanley Pines laughed and (Name) pointed her tongue at her boss. His jokes never got old. (Name) glanced at the mirror and jumped. She looked VERY tired. The bags under her eyes could carry fourteen ice cream tubs, something she would need very soon if Bill kept being an annoying prick. She sighed and just moved on with her day. She didn't have time to stress over her appearance.

As people started entering the shack, her day begun. It was the same old thing: cleaning up, refilling the merchandise, talking to customers, guide some groups, sell merchandise. Dipper and Mabel came to hang out during lunch along with Wendy, which was fun. Then she had to go back to work. She chatted with Soos, which was always a delight. He would say some nonsense, ruin something and then fix it again. Stanford spent some time in the shop, which was highly unusual for him. He would usually huddle up in his room and do nerdy stuff.

Stanley made more jokes throughout the day, making (Name) smile through her pain. Man, she was really exhausted. Being Bill's baby sitter was tiring! Towards the end of the day, a large amount of tourists entered the shack and (Name) was forced to take care of them to make sure their experience was as pleasant as possible. When her day was finally done, she said good bye to her co-workers and headed home.

On her way home, she saw Dipper by the woods. "Hey, Dipper!" she shouted at him, making him jump. She jogged up to him with a tired smile "Oh- uh, hey, (Name)" Dipper laughed nervously. (Name) raised an eyebrow "What are you doing out here looking mad sus?" Dipper smiled broadly "What? Me, suspicious? What are you talking about!" Mabel stepped out of the forest and snorted "You still suck at lying, Dipstick!" Mabel then put an arm around Dipper and grinned "We're on an adventure! We're trying to find gnomes!" she exclaimed "I'm still mad at them for trying to abduct me to become their queen. It has been eight years." she whispered. Well she was her regular odd self. "Mab- she's joking! There's no such thing as gnomes!" Dipper laughed and (Name) laughed "Ok, Dipstick. Anyways, I'll se you guys later."

She left after they said good bye, hearing Dipper in the distance "I told you not to call me Dipstick, now she's going to call me that too!" and Mabel replying "Well you are a dipstick, besides; I thought you'd be more upset about me mentioning the gnomes!" (Name) chuckled to herself. Gnomes don't exist! But then again; Bill is a dream demon. Perhaps Gnomes exist too then? (Name) shrugged it off and headed home, ready to fall asleep on her very comfortable bed. She entered her home and- "Welcome home!"