the propinquity effect

26

+ 26 +

Weeks, it had been weeks since I last talked, or argued, with Michael. I would not even bother lying, I missed him a lot. We would make eye-contact once in a while when I would close my curtain at night or when I would drive, yes drive, my car into my garage. Those little eye-contact with someone that once meant the whole entire world.

No one knew the specific reason of why we stopped talking, only Michael and I did and I was not going to tell anyone about it. Not even my bratty friends that were chatting away about the Valentine's Dance later that night. I was not worrying too much because I was going with Luke, who actually knew what happened between my neighbor and I but decided to shut up about it, and he was not going to cancel.

So far, Zara got a box of heart shaped chocolates from Jake. Leila had gotten five bouquets of roses from guys she did not even know. And poor little Josh brought a box of chocolate by himself because he knew no one would buy him one. That little misunderstood snowflake.

"Are you going to the dance tonight?" Josh flipped a page from his History book and looked at me from beneath his glasses. I twirled a piece of spaghetti and raised my eyebrow.

"I'm pretty sure I'm going, yes." I nodded as I put in my spaghetti and looked out.

Every time I would try to erase the memory of Michael and Natalie literally eating each other's face on the couch the image would flood right back into my mind and I would mentally slap myself so hard I would forget how to breathe. Was it the fact that my heart was broken into pieces by the one that claimed to have already fixed them back up? No, it was just the feeling of regret and getting punched in the face or being slapped or realizing your celebrity crush got a girlfriend. Just one hundred times more painful and it would get replayed every time it was done.

I had built my walls, the door that I had locked before my heart and I had thrown the key far enough no one could pick it up. Michael was the one that found it first, the key to my heart and I did not know if I should open it up for him. I guessed not because he betrayed me.

The whole story, I was not really sure because when he was about to explain to me I had already drive all the way to my favorite bookstore and bought about five books. I was just sad and bored, I did not know what to do.

Maybe I finished them in five hours maybe I did not. Maybe Michael threw my window with pieces of pebbles maybe he did not; or maybe I told him to fuck off and he did. That was when I opened my window and I saw him sitting on his front yard no matter how hard it was raining. His lost, I was not going to lend him my towel or tell him that he was going to catch a flu because I had completely shut him off.

Luke came by and I cried on his shoulder, I knew that was not what exes were supposed to do but I needed someone. He was really nice about it even though he admitted he loved Natalie. It was hard for the both of us, we did not get back together. We just seek each other's comforting hugs.

The captain of the basketball team rushed over to our table and sat beside me. He gave both Jake and Josh a high-five, greeting Zara and Leila with a small nod. He had his tray of food before him and he was eating mashed potatoes with a piece of chicken.

"You're going to kill me," Luke said in a whisper and I looked at him. I raised one of my eyebrows and chewed on my inner cheek, playing with my plastic fork as I stared at his blue eyes.

"Of course you decided to ditch on me." I covered up my sadness with a small cough and I tried my best not to plaster a disappointed face. Luke ran a hand through his hair as he looked sorry, not like that son of a bitch.

"I have maths class and I've skipped them twice to go over to your house and give you your ice creams. This is a fair ditch, Alexa." Luke chuckled a bit as he put in his mashed potatoes. He played with his lip-ring for a few seconds and I shrugged.