the propinquity effect

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Michael had been feeling very down lately and I had been constantly trying to cheer him up in every way possible. He would go out of the room and shut the door behind him then drive to the bar and get some drinks. Ashton would drop him off at his house since he would be pretty drunk and I had been trying to be the supportive girlfriend but he pushed me away. Everyone had been trying to cheer him up and he hadn't even tried to be happy all by himself.

It was a day before the funeral and I had not seen him at all, not like I wanted to because I knew he needed some time alone. His mom had just died and he hadn't even figured out his whole life in front of him. His sister stayed with their aunt for awhile, waiting for their dad to come to Australia and cheer them up. Michelle didn't know what was going on, she just knew that her mom was in a much better place.

Mom and I were still bickering over the fact that I had picked Michael over her. I didn't exactly pick him over her, I wanted to spend time with Michael and make sure he was okay. Mom was fine with that, at least I would come back home everyday and not have sex with him. We never actually had the perfect mother and daughter relationship since my dad died and we couldn't care less about it. We have tried fixing the relationship before and it didn't work out well. Since I was the only one trying.

Running a hand through my hair, I grabbed my hoodie and folded it on my arm, going to Michael's house in an attempt to cheer up my forlorn boyfriend. Maybe I should buy him pizza first and not wear anything black because it would remind him of the funeral and I really didn't want him to be reminded of it. I didn't plan anything with my mom for the day even though she wanted us to go black dress shopping and I refused, saying that I had enough black dresses.

"Where are you going?" Mom asked when I was out of my bedroom and shutting it slowly behind me. Her eyebrows were furrowed together and she was holding a black dress in front of her, the one that I guessed she would be wearing to Karen's funeral. I took two steps toward the stairs and didn't even bother to answer her question.

"Michael's house." I spat out as I held onto the railing. Mom grabbed my wrist tightly, not letting me go and almost made my veins pop. I looked at her and raised my eyebrow, she usually would just let me go but she was determined to make me stay. Mom sighed as she put the dress on the counter and I leaned on the railing, waiting for her to say something.

"You've been going there for days." Mom said, pure sadness evident in her voice. That voice; I had heard it once and I swore I wouldn't upset her to the point that she would use that voice. But she was indeed upset and I automatically thought that I should stay, my mom needed me. That voice showed up once, on my father's funeral.

"Michael needs someone and I'll blame myself everyday if something happens to him." I sat down on the stair and folded my legs beneath me. Mom took a few steps and sat down in front of me, putting her hands on my thighs. "If you want me to stay I co-"

"No it's okay, Michael needs someone, you're right." Mom shrugged and smiled a bit, but I knew she was still sad and she still needed someone. So I didn't stand up immediately, I wanted to talk to her and find out what had been bothering her.

"Mom." I tried to say a paragraph that would sound smart but I couldn't find one. I held onto the railing tighter as mom's green eyes finally met mine.

"That night when Karen passed away, she told me something and I know I'm not the one who's going to do it." Mom bit her lip to prevent herself from crying.

"What did she say?" I asked.

"No matter what happened, I should take Michael's mind off her and that Michael should be happy at all times. And she said it wouldn't be hard." Mom grinned and patted the side of my face slightly. She continued on stroking my hair and I pushed her hand away.