the propinquity effect

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+ 36 +

Michael and I weren't on speaking terms. I guessed that was our relationship. We wouldn't have small pointless arguments over nothing; we had the worst arguments two people could have and we would settle it on our own. So we weren't on speaking terms at all and all I could see was his dad and him packing all their stuffs into some carton boxes.

I watched him packing his stuffs and I knew he couldn't sleep at night. He never closed his window blinds, probably because he wanted me to know how much of a wreck he had been. He was back with gaming and trying to mantain perfectly unhealthy balance of food. I silently wondered how he couldn't gain weight even with all the pizza eating he did.

Michael never left his room, once in awhile probably to take a shower or do a pep talk with his father and that was about it. No communication; his skype had been offline for days and his phone would go to voicemail. I had tried to call him several times but he wouldn't pick up. Maybe he did gave up on me.

I walked to my bookshelf and tried to search for a good book to read, there wasn't any. If I picked The Fault in Our Stars then it would remind me of Michael. If I picked Divergent then I would remember Michael buying me its hardcover. Literally every book in my bookshelf reminded me of Michael.

The punch was accidental, he didn't mean to punch me at all. After the funeral was over Luke took me back home and I thanked him for the ride. Then we hugged for what felt like 30 minutes but he finally let me go when his mom called him. I didn't know, it was a very hard decision trying to pick between Michael and Luke. It felt like I was stuck in the middle of a Twillight book and I couldn't get out.

"Alexa?" Someone called from the door and I looked at the direction. Dave was in the threshold, leaning onto the door as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Someone's at the door."

"Is it Michael?" I asked, I didn't want to meet Michael at all. I knew I needed to talk to him because he was moving out soon and halfway across the globe so I couldn't meet him at all. But I wasn't just feeling like it, if I wanted to apologize or if he wanted to apologize then one of us should wait longer because I didn't want to apologize yet. The punch had left me with a permanent blue mark that made it look like a lovebite when it wasn't.

"No, the other one. Blue eyes blonde haired, quiff higher than your grades." Dave chuckled at his own joke as I rolled my eyes. I took a Nicholas Sparks book and sighed. I didn't want to meet Luke either because I was tired of all the feelings.

"Can you please tell him I'm not here because I'm very tired and I feel like I want to die in a hole." I told Dave as he nodded and ruffled his hair before walking out of my room. The sound of his feet on the stairs made me realize that he was finally gone and I could read the Nicholas Sparks book.

Walking over to my bed, I threw it onto the mattress and threw myself there. Digging my head into my blanket as I picked it up and opened it. Skimming the first few pages and realizing that I was about to read The Notebook. I had never read it before, mainly because I was never a Nicholas Sparks fan; I thought his books were cheesy.

When I opened it a note fell out of the book; a crumpled piece of paper that was neatly folded and pushed into the pages of the book.

I opened it, thinking it was just another book mark that Mom made by herself. But I was wrong because there was a writing on it.

'The scariest thing about distance is that you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget you.' The cursive handwriting said and I quickly knew that it was Mom's. I didn't know if she purposely wrote that or if she though the saying was beautiful. Maybe she did put it there so I could see it.