Playing The Player's Game (Book 1 In The Player Series)

Day Two of Visiting Home

I woke up groggily as I slowly blinked my eyes until they were open. The sun streamed through my windows as I sat up slowly. I pulled a flannel shirt over my tank top and buttoned two buttons before dragging a pair of boy shorts on, im pretty sure they are a pair of Todd's or Stephen's that got left in my house. I stumbled out of my room and into the kitchen as I heard laughter. "Ah sleeping beauty is awake." Slade boomed as I nodded and pushed my hair back away from my face. "Good morning, JT." Todd said as Ace hugged me from behind and Jordan tossed an apple my way. "You going for your run?" He asked eying my bare feet as I nodded. "I just gotta grab some shoes first." "What ditched your boots?" Slade asked as Ace spoke up "No don't tell me we lost my country girl." "No i haven't ditched my boots. Can't run in boots. And I mostly am bare foot in Cali since I mostly stay on the beach." I muttered as Jordan smirked. "Be careful Slade. Did you forget how grumpy she was in the morning?" I glared at him as I tossed him the uneaten apple. I wasn't really hungry. "Oh I sure remember that day I stayed out all night looking for her." I sighed. "I remember a certain someone woke me up at 5 in the morning. I mean who does that?" I asked sarcastically as he chuckled and nodded. "Anyway. Going for my run. Todd you ready?" He nodded as I pulled some tennis shoes on and headed out the backdoor.

We ran and ran for hours before stopping in a clearing. A log sat in the corner as we took a breather. "You still love him?" I sighed and looked at the ground. "I thought I was over him but im not sure. I mean we are so different. And I just want to do what's best for me. I have done what is best for everyone else already. I lost control and now i need to think about me and what is going to happen to me. I can't let him emotionally destroy me again. I can't let myself do that either. I did it once when I got involved in that stupid game but I won't do it again." "So what is best for you?" I pondered it and realized just how stupid I was. I had this lucky guy right in front of me who could have any girl he wanted. And any girl would be more than lucky to have him. He's so sweet. Caring. Loving. Great with kids. Great with people. Amazing. Hard working. He has his flaws. Everyone does. But he tries his hardest. And I'm the lucky girl that he wants. But I have been oblivious to all of this until now. I just wish I didn't still love Slade. "You. Your best for me. And I want us i really do but i am still in love with him and I can't change that for the time being. I don't want to get into a relationship with you because it would not be fair to you or me. Mostly you because I would be robbing you of a love i wish I could give you. I am not asking you to wait around for me because I never would but if another girl comes along before I am ready, take the chance with her. I don't deserve a guy like you. You're amazing. You know that?" I asked as he hugged me and kissed my forehead. "He's a lucky guy, Slade is definitely a lucky guy." He whispered into my hair as I buried my face in his chest. Understanding. Todd is so understanding.

After the run i lay on the couch, Slade hobbled in and took a seat lifting my head and putting it on his lap where it was before he moved it. It was slightly awkward but I couldn't move. I just stared up at his face and the ceiling. "What happened?" "Kicked a fence post." "Why?" "Uh no reason." I rolled my eyes but didn't press for more information as he sighed. "I was a jerk." "I was an idiot." "I was wrong." I couldn't say anything back. I didn't have a retaliation for that one. Not like the other. Because he was right. He was wrong. But I was wrong too. "Me too." He looked at me questionably before looking up. "What could you possibly have been wrong about? I practically told you to go. I am so sorry Jacer." I shot up to a sitting position. "No. Don't apologize. I do not regret going to California.

It was one of the best things to happen to me. I would have never left without what happened between us and i am thankful for that. But do not say sorry for helping me have one of the best experiences of my life. I never would have met Todd or Stephen, who I can't stand most of the time but that's beside the point, I have made amazing friends and I have people who care about me and love me." He just sighed and ran a hand through his hair while he used the other hand to play with my hair. While I settled next to him, laying on a pillow instead of his lap. "But I am sorry for letting you go. I am also glad you found Tom. He is perfect for you." "Todd." I sighed as he shrugged. "Yeah Todd. I can tell he adores you and loves you more than anything. He would give you stars if it were possible. He makes you happy and that is more than I ever did.  JT, your happiness means more to me than anything. You would be happier with him." I sighed as I sat up and swallowed the tears that threatened to form. I looked into his eyes as he looked as if he slightly regretted it but he meant it all in the end. It felt as if it were happening all over again. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it was happening all over again. "I can't believe you are doing this again. You are letting me go. Again. You are taking the easy road. Again. You are leaving me. Again. There is just one flaw to your whole elaborate perfect foolproof plan." "What's that JT?" He asked as I half laughed at him and let out a half sob. "You have a fool in your plan." "Who?" He choked out but we both knew the answer. "You have a fool in your whole elaborate perfect foolproof plan and it is me. Me. I am your fool. And your plan is flawed. Majorly and utterly flawed because you failed to see the fact that I still love you. Yeah. I still love you Slade Quinn. For some stupid idiotic reason I still love you. I wish and prayed that I didn't but I do. I wish it were that easy to choose Todd. But he doesn't deserve second choice. And neither do I." i muttered before standing and going to my room.

Hours later Jordan came and laid on my bed beside me. "Slade told me what happened." I scoffed as Jordan held my hand. "Look little sis. We all love you and want what's best." "For me or for him? I just want this feeling to go away." I cried as Jordan rubbed my head. "Love hurts baby sister. Always does and always will. Remember what mom used to tell us?" I shook my head as he curled his arm around me. "Love is a beautiful thing that causes scars and bandaids. Pick the one that's best for you or you'll regret it for the rest of your life." I knew then what she meant. Slade was my scars and Todd was my bandaids. Todd wasn't a second choice. He was my forever love. "There are three types of love in the world. Your first love. Your true love. And your forever love. If you are lucky all three are the same person. And if you can get through all three you're a warrior. Isn't that what she also said?" I asked as he nodded smiling.  I guess I was a warrior. Draden Benson was my first love. Slade Quinn was my true love. And Todd Jones is my forever love. "Dad said she was some mumbo jumbo hopeless romantic." Jordan said staring at the ceiling. "I loved her. I still do. I miss her. It is getting harder to remember her." I whispered as he nodded. "I know. I feel it too." "Jeremiah and dad too." I whispered as he patted his chest. "They are all in here. Remember that. Always." I nodded as I sunk into his hug and thanked God for him.