The Diary of Rikkard Ambrose

XV

Saturday, 3rd January, 1835

04.21. Blast.
04.44. I have left and I go I know not where. Linton will wait for me at the altar and I will not appear. My mother will be outraged and my family confused. I am alone.
05.06. I am not in love.
05.28. Linton was more than happy to leave with me when I returned to the house for her. She put on her clothes, took my hand and her courage and we are gone. Never have I felt like this. Never have I felt as much as I do now. This may perhaps only be rivalled by the time we ran through fields of wheat as youths.
We are at the station and I am taking her to the south. The fare for this thing is extortionate.
The family will guess that we have fled and assume we are embarking on a great romantic adventure of the kind I imagine to be detailed in penny dreadfuls. I left a list of instructions regarding work for Karim and a window within which to expect my return.
Linton has been silent for a long time and is often watching what I do. Its presence is not bad. I would not have had our wedding day go any other way.
06.00. The train shall arrive shortly and I am hoping that the contemplative silence may remain for the hours we shall spend on it. I ought to think of what we are now to do. I had not before considered the financial costs of taking Linton away.
16.15. We have arrived in Exeter and are staying in a (cheap) room above a pub on the sea front. Linton is unpacking the small case it brought and I shall go to the beach to consider what to do. I have never not had a plan. I do not know the reason behind my sudden spontaneity and I do not like it, although Linton does.
17.34. I skimmed rocks on the sea. I have not done this in years. I know Linton watched me from the queer smile she gave me when I returned to our room. We sat on our bed in silence until she finally asked: "why?"
I did not reply. I do not have an answer. I do not know why I did not marry it. I do not know why I fled. I do not know why I brought her with me. I know answers to every question in the world but those.
It attempted to break my silence by turning my head, but I instructed it not to touch me. I am sitting far from the bar in the pub below our room and I can see it coming to join me, wearing a pale blue dress. I must inquire as to why it has attired itself thusly.
18.49. It seems there is no reason for Linton to hide its identity here. Nobody knows who we are.
22.41. Linton has been consuming generous amounts of alcoholic beverages since we ate this evening and though it does not appear to want to vomit it does continue to blather on about some sort of yellow pig. It does not trust the floor, either. I have taken it up to our room and it is currently attempting to undress and asking for my help.
23.04. I undid the dress, however it continued to remove clothes and so I am in the hallway, intending to return when the temptation is beneath the covers and sleeping off whatever hallucinogenic substance it recently consumed. I hear it babbling to the bedpost and fear that sleep will not come to it quickly.
02.13. I have rejoined the sleeping mess and wrapped the covers around it's shaking form. It is the middle of winter and though I personally feel that there is nothing to be concerned with, I am aware of the dangers of feeling the cold. I have pulled the bundle of blankets and person to me and am resting you on its shoulder.

Sunday, 4th January, 1835

10.36. While the city of Exeter went to church, Linton and I walked along the beach to a crop of rocks, where it would not stop talking. The talking is not bad, as the voice is pleasant, but I cannot hear myself think. It has not asked questions regarding my decision to leave, however, since yesterday, for which I am grateful.
16.18. The day has been reasonably uneventful. I have been researching for a new business venture I am contemplating embarking on, though not much else has happened. Linton seems restless.
23.47. A record of events as remembered by me, Rikkard Ambrose: it started when she took off her clothes...

He's a right moody bîtch, isn't he? ;)
Sorry to leave it on another cliff hanger but I wanted to publish this so that you guys wouldn't be held in too much suspense since yesterday.
The next chapter will include a lot of dialogue, as it's a record of what happened, so I hope you guys don't mind that.
Also, how did you like his lil early morning revelation, huh? ;) lol, I just felt like things were going slowly in the way of those words and wanted to hurry things along a bit. I don't know if it's ruined it now, though... oh well!
As always, let me know what you think!
Besos x